~ Chapter 18 ~

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*OKAY OKAY OKAY I JUST WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE FOR READING THIS BOOK AND I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD EVER COMPLETE A BOOK THANK YOU SO MUCH.♥️♥️♥️♥️
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Sunlight was hot and heavy on my skin; it felt as though it was pulling it, up and away, towards the searing blue sky. Behind the school, I stood in the middle of the sport's field, staring at the out-of-bounds area. It was still blocked off with a heavy chain, from post to post, and a steel-link fence contained the over-grown trees inside. The agriculture farm was hardly used; mostly for junior Science classes who had nothing better to do. The keeper, Rolly—as everyone fondly called the small, round man—cared naught for trespassing students, as long as they didn't trample his gardens or startle the chickens.

I'd never been in there. Even in science class, we'd just never gone on an excursion to the old Ag. farm. Usually I'd just glance at it, subconsciously thinking of it as the smoker's hang-out or, more recently, Emery's hang-out. But today, having become restless in my study period, had decided to go for a walk around the school. It had brought me to the centre of the sport's field, standing on the bare cricket pitch, staring at the heavy chain barrier.

And something in me, some nameless compulsion, made me start walking towards it.

Grass cracked beneath my feet, still dry from summer, and I scuffed at the dirt patches. As I approached the shade of the fence and the trees, I glanced over my shoulder, scanning the hazy frame of the school buildings and the windows in the upper floor. Even if someone had watched my trek, I wouldn't know. Right at that moment, Mr. McKenzie could be powering through the hallways, having spied me out of his office window, intent on handing me a detention, suspension, expulsion...

And yet, even the thought of it, the thought of trouble, didn't stop me from ducking under the chain and walking slowly down the gravel path into the heart of the farm. It was...less than impressive. Of course, I hadn't expected much. It was bright, for there was a clearing in the middle of the farm, with a small slab-like building. It had a low roof that shaded a spread of wooden benches and tables. Walking slowly towards them, I glanced at the ground, not surprised to find the flattened stubs of scores of cigarettes, just spread into the gravel, trodden on by feet.

I stopped just before the shade of the building and looked directly up. The sun was white and immediately halos blazed across my vision. Blinking dazedly, I glanced down, and jerked in surprise.

Emery was sitting on one of the table tops, his feet on the lower bench. Elbows on knees, eyes half-hooded, he stared at me. I stared back. Finally, he asked quietly, "What are you doing here?"

What was I doing here? Could I really tell him that I just wanted to see the farm, to see where he hung out with his friends, where he went to suck on cancer-sticks? That I had come because I had hoped, secretly—dreadfully—that he'd be here?

So I just shrugged and murmured evasively, "Just because."

"That's not an answer," he said lowly.

"That's because I don't have an answer," I admitted, looking at him carefully.

He watched me, his eyes dark in the shadow of the building, and his hair a dull grey beneath his black beanie. With his right hand, Emery rubbed slowly at his jaw. "Why not?" he asked casually.

Shifting uneasily, I hesitated before taking a few steps forward. I was immediately drenched in shade; it felt as if I'd jumped in a pool of water. My sigh was one of relief, for sweat was already drying on the back of my neck. Emery watched, silently. I met his eyes, and bit my lip. "I, I don't know."

"Oh, come on, Bronwyn," he murmured lazily, "surely you have something to say?"

My heart was pattering in my chest, heavy and fast. I kept thinking of Amber, Amber crying and Amber yelling at me, Amber sitting on her bed, defeated, as she admitted that she'd thought she'd loved Emery. Thought she had, but didn't, not really. Not real love. Unconsciously, I'd taken another step closer. Emery's shadow was now touching my feet. "Not really," I answered just as softly, giving a half-smile that wasn't really a smile.

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