The Silence Within

Chapter 46

Her heart pounded. Each thump hard. She marched down the busy corridor of the hospital moving like a zombie. She could barely feel anything. It's as if something had been ripped from her, like her soul. She felt lifeless. When she bumped into someone, she had not stopped to apologise. She just moved. She wanted to be out of the hospital. Her head spun and only one word rang in it. Leukaemia.

It's her fault. It's totally her fault. She should have suspected that whatever was happening to Esosa was more than mere fever. She should have known when the fevers kept coming back. Esosa had been vomiting several times, usually when the fever was present. Esosa developed bruises that never fade. She had been more tired than usual, barely able to move whenever she laid down. Esosa's appetite was low. Despite all the multivitamins she took, she hardly eats. She should have known that the painless lump on her neck meant something but she have overlooked it thinking it will go away. Is she late? Is she not worried enough to have postponed the doctor's appointment to the next day? She should have taken her daughter to the hospital the night before. Esosa will never have woken up in the middle of the night finding it hard to breathe.

Light poured upon her as she pulled the main door apart. The door swung back. She rushed through it. When she got to the end of the walkway, she halted. She felt the emotions she held in choke her like someone was strangling her. Her chest constricted painfully, closing over her lungs. Respiration became hard and forced. She clutched unto her chest, trying to breathe. It hurts badly. Tears sprung into her eyes. Sweat oozed from her pores. Her baby can't die. Nothing should happen to her baby. Esosa has to live. Tremors started in every part of her body.

"Osasere!" Her mother called behind her, rushing to meet her as she sank to her knees. Water spilled from Osas's eyes. The first sob since the news had been broken to them left Osas's lips. "Osasere" Her mother knelt beside her, a hand over her trembling body.

"Mama" Osas sobbed. "My baby" She choked. Warm tears coursed down her face in an unending fall.

"She will be fine" Her mother assured, her voice shaky with unshed tears lingering at the rim of her eyes. "Esosa will be fine. Nothing will happen to her"

"My baby is going to die. She's leaving me!" She broke down, clutching unto her mother like she was the rope of life.

Nothing prepared her for this nightmare. She kept asking herself why. Why her daughter? Why her? Why does it seem like her perfect happy life would be crumbling down into nothing soon? So much will change. A lot will. She just got that nagging feeling inside her. Esosa can never be the same again. She had seen people and heard how they fight cancer. It's a marathon. A long journey with lots of ups and down, lots of fear. Cancer kills and her daughter will die! She felt her inner being tremble. She can't lose Esosa! Esosa cannot leave her! Osas pushed the doorbell feeling air squeezing out of her.

Osas saw a bright past and a sombre future. What wrong did she ever do? What has she done that she's being punished this way? Will she ever be able to watch her daughter grow? Those doctors are lying. Something happened during the test. They have to rerun it. Esosa can't have cancer. She can't!

"Osas?" A voice called. She lifted her head to look at Jafar. Her hair was damp from the drizzle that started few minutes back on her way to his house. She sighed, relieve washing through her. She had thought he won't be home. Watching him stand a feet away from her made her want to break down and rush to him but she held every feeling in.

Jafar noticed the red eyes and puffy face. She had been crying. Worry laced his eyes. Lines creased on his forehead as he moved closer towards her. Osas looked at him, unmoving, speechless. Stagnant tears glistened in her eyes. He understood everything. Something terrible had happened. "Come in" He stepped aside.