No baby #8 for me... 😞
I'm having an early miscarriage.
Lots of pain. And I'm feeling very selfish and generally depressed. I just want to sit and cry till I puke. Which I've done some puking already.
My husband can't stay home today. He has to work. All 7 of my kids are home, and doing what kids do. They're arguing with each other. Screaming.
Two of them had a birthday this week which means... I have to have their party Sunday.
I'm not up for it. I'm exhausted. In pain.
I want to be that asshole today. I refuse to text or call my husband back. Because yes. I'm THAT asshole today.
I think I've earned it.
I get to be that selfish jerk today because of the hell I'm going through. But as a mother... And mother to many.. I have to pretend like I'm fine and give them what they want.
I'm a parent. I'm not allowed to have emotion.
I'm not allowed to wallow in my pain today. I'll take some Motrin. Get some coffee. And keep moving.
Have their party. Pretend I'm happy. When all I want to do is crawl in a dark hole and lay there till the pain stops. Till it all goes away.
