Do not be dictatorial

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Compare between three fathers. Each one of them sees his son sitting in front of the television screen during the days of his examination.

The first one says to his son, "Muhammad! Revise your lessons!"

The second says, "Majid! If you do not revise, by Allah, I will hit you and I will not give you any pocket money!"

The third says, "Salih! Would you please revise your lessons? It would be better than watching television, don't you think?"

Which of the three would be considered best manners? Undoubtedly, the third, since he presented his order to him as if it were only a suggestion.

Similarly, it should be the case when dealing with your wife. "Sarah, can you please make a cup of tea?" "Hind, I would like to have an early lunch today, if possible."

Likewise, when a person errs, try to rectify it by ways in which he would think that rectification was his own initiative. For example, your son is often not present for prayers in the mosque. You can say to him, for instance, "Sa'd, don't you wish to enter paradise? Surely you do! In that case, you should guard your prayers."

Once upon a time, in a Bedouin tent in the desert, a woman was groaning while giving birth. Her husband was next to her, waiting for her to deliver. The labour became severe for the woman, and she finally gave birth, but to a black child! The man looked at himself and his wife to find both of them fair-skinned. He became surprised as to how his son could be black. The devil whispered into his heart saying, "Perhaps, this baby is someone else's. Perhaps a black man fornicated with her, and thus she became pregnant! Perhaps..."

The man became confused and went to Madinah and approached the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him whilst he was sitting with his Companions.

He said, "O Messenger of Allah! My wife gave birth to a black child! We have never had any black person in our family!"

The Prophet peace be upon himlooked at him. Although, he was well able to lecture him about having good thoughts about others, and that he should not have accused his wife, he decided to try a different method with him to solve his problem. He decided to make the man solve his own problem. He decided to give him examples with which he could easily discover the answer to his problem. But what kind of example should he have given him? The example of trees? Or bees? Or the Persians and the Romans?

The Prophet peace be upon himlooked at him and noticed that he was a Bedouin who looked very confused due to all the thoughts that were coming to his mind about his wife.

The Prophet peace be upon himsaid, "Do you have any camels?"

"Yes", said the man.

The Prophet peace be upon himsaid, "What is their colour?"

He said, "Red."

The Prophet peace be upon himsaid, "Is there any black amongst them?"

"No", he replied.

The Prophet said, "Is there any grey amongst them?"

"Yes", the man replied.

The Prophet said, "From where did that come?"

Meaning; so long as they are all red, male and female, and not a single one of them is of any different colour, how did a red camel give birth to a grey camel, which happens to be different to that of the mother and the father?

The man thought for a while and said, "Perhaps it is due to heredity". Meaning; it is possible that one of its ancestors was grey. Hence, the grey colour remained in the lineage, and was inherited by this baby camel.

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