The fire in the cold

Its all fake right

*Oz's Dream*

I walked down the hall to the lunch room, passing by Vicky with a light smile she returned it to me. She held Polly's hand and walked away happily, I looked down building up the confidence and courage to ask the prince of hell to prom. I was nervous to even go up to him, (what if I got on his bad side? What if he punches me and makes me the laughing stalk of the lunch room, now that I was in front of him?) as I consider the worse things that will happen in my head

"What do you want noob?" He said in his angry tone 

"U-um. Will you, um, go to prom with me?" I said in a scared tone as if i was at the gates of hell.

"With a noob like you? Fuck no I would rather go to prom with a cactus then a loser like you." He looked at me getting up.  He pushed me to the ground walking away pouring a flask of vodka on me. I looked down and started  to cry not knowing what the hell just happened. A loud roar of laughter filled the Lunch room. Even Vicky was laughing at me, my best friend...my "sister" was laughing at me of all people. I didn't know what to do so I just sat on the floor knees to chest crying. My little shadow buddy's where getting angry at everyone for not helping me.

*end of dream*

I woke up in a pool of sweat and tears in my eyes looking around to see my room and now  relieved and sighed panting. 

"I-it was only a dream? T-thank fucking god" I mumbled sitting up putting my head in my knees sighing. 

What people didn't know is that I am fear itself. I am what people blame crimes on, i am what children say when they think they saw Mrs. Boogeyman's husband. I am what people curse on to others, this not only caused me to have bad anxiety at a young age. But these nightmares if you will call it, happen every single fucking day of my anxious life. I wish one day these dreams can leave me at peace so I can sleep more than an hour or if I'm lucky 2 hours a day. But that's only a dream that could eventual cause a nightmare...So that's why i never think of things, like asking people out or what I want to be after we graduate or even what my days going to be like. Because of the horrible nightmares people call fears. 

"Oz are you up?" My "dad" said, i guess he heard me earlier...I didn't reply i even waited for him to check on me so he can lave alone. He is the reason i cant hangout with friends, I'm his show...I'm his booze runner, even his punching bag. I hardly care about things anymore because every day is my dream right? 

thank everyone who is reading this...i know this chapter was sad but lately my mind has been in this depressed slump with fear of life and with not feeling good enough. So i made a hard drive took it out of my head and put in into the computer. Please do not be afraid to critic so I can improve, however do not say I don't like it and not say how i can improve or why you didn't like it. I'm going to update as much as I can before going on hiatus for a week.