safe ¿ place // Based on a true story.

Chapter 1: A Good Time Call.

Songs to listen to while reading:
Safe- Tra$h
The Night We Met- Lord Huron
***

If you would've told me I'd be where I am now, a few years ago? I probably would've laughed. I'd also tell you that you're crazy and there's no possible way that was going to happen, because I believed in my mom. I believed in myself, most of all.

But here I am: Late January, beginning of Year 2018. I'm off to a bad start— when I could've swore that I was going to do better than the last year.... but I'm stuck, again.

I'm fifteen years old, yet, I'm sad. You know that sadness where it consumes you? Not the one where you can cry until the problem littles itself... but the one where you wake up from the night before and feel your heart weakening, as well as your spirit. That was me. The same old feeling, every morning. 24/7.

I'm visiting my godmother for a month in Sun Valley, Idaho.... at it whitest. The snow has been coming down like crazy for the past few days since I came back from Montana. So there, of course, were many days of skiing and movies in the small theater.

It was a simple life. No food chain restaurants for miles and miles; only a small McDonalds, which was right across from the movie theater. You could pick up hitchhikers and feel safe with them in your car. I'm sure you could even go to that little breakfast bar, "Shorty's" and the waitress remembers your name and order as soon as you walk in. Her name is Danny.

This story kicks off the night Jace and I go to watch "The Maze Runner: Death Cure". His aunt is my godmothers wife. Yes, you heard it right, godmothers wife. We're a very big lesbian family— which is okay because we love each other... and that's what matters. I love my family.

Jace and I are craving for some pizza; so we ask our aunts if we could go to the local pizza place— Wise Guys pizza.

As we seat, with our aunts and other family members, my phone vibrates.

"cccam3 added you on snap!"
"Ken.doug18 added you on snap!"

I thought nothing of it. But two random guys adding me on Snapchat was pretty random and Jace was picking up on my gestures.

"You okay?" He asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"Always." I smile to hide the lie, "Can I be excused? I have to use the restroom really bad."

They all think nothing of it and nod. I go.

What the hell is going on?

"Trevor is typing....

From Trevor."

"Okay." I whisper to myself and click on his message.

"I have 2 guy friends that wanted ur snap, hope that isn't a problem lol."

I respond, "oh! Not at all lol thanks?"

"Ken is typing...

From Ken."

Like any classy guy starts his conversations he sends, "Hey."

I write him back, "Hi".

"Cameron is typing...

From Cameron."

I write him back as well.

I could go on and on with how these conversations took off; but I felt a connection with Cameron. I don't know why, I never questioned it. He was funny and sweet; he understood what it was like to not fit into a family. He never wanted a specific label into society. He was himself, completely sincere. So, it was as if I hadn't felt alone anymore.

I didn't respond to either boys the rest of the time we were eating pizza. I wanted them to know I'm not waiting for their responses .. I am not so easily caught. Because, honestly, I'm not. Nothing catches my eye anymore... guys before were only with me for sex or money. Sadly for them, they got neither. So my motto was always: "Be soft. Not weak." That saying is a big deal to me because I will so easily give kindness to everyone I meet. Yet, there are people out there who feed off of it because they've been hurt. These people want to taste someone like me: someone who still hasn't let that hurt, break me. Remember— we've all been hurt. But it was my choice to keep being the same me after every hit. I could never do half of what has been done to me.

I'm a strong girl. I know this. I've seen and been through suicides, murders, hate and abuse... all with my own eyes and heart, I have carried that pain inside of me for years. A girl like me is not for this world. You know what I mean by that.

We are world of good and bad. But incase you haven't noticed; the bad has been overriding the good for a while now. Why? Because we have power. But we have also found a way to use it for bad and become clever with excuses of why we use it. I would know; because every person who used that power on me, has left me to think it was my fault. But it was not.

"Cameron is typing...

From Cameron."

"Trevor says you did his makeup! Ur now my favorite person"

I laugh to myself and shake my head responding, "yeah, all guys let me do their makeup."

"Sooo when are you going to do mine?"

"FaceTime me and I'll tell you lol *67-xxx-xxxx"

Not too long later, I get a FaceTime call... from him. I'm nervous, I'm scared. I press the accept button.

To spare you the gory details— We played 21 questions, getting to know each other. We cracked a few jokes, got deep into each other's feelings about life, complimented what each other likes about the other person.. I thought that I had found the perfect distraction from reality. But that's not all it was to me, deep down. I knew it was more than what I thought it was.... I needed him. He was safer than anything I had ever known in that time. He wouldn't dare hurt me; so I had found my safe place. And god, did I fall into him hard. But I could never tell him until I had known I was his too.