safe ¿ place // Based on a true story.

Chapter 2: It's Complicated.

Cameron and I have FaceTimed and messaged each other non-stop for weeks now. I've somehow found a way to blur out the loneliness... and found something inside of me that I had not felt on a long time. How was it possible? That one person could affect another, this much?

It was a question one the top of my head at all times; but I had to make myself busy until I found answers.

"Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: I have something I need to tell you tonight."

Oh no.. not already. Please tell me he isn't done with me already, I thought to myself.

Great. Now I have anxiety.

You see? Cameron and I, we had really started getting along. So far along that I'm scared what it's like to be without him already. Within all those weeks of falling asleep on FaceTime until he woke up the next morning for his Senior Classes.. and staying up late at night cracking inside jokes. Pillow talk. Playing games like "Guess the Color".... it's exactly how it sounds, dirty. But no one would know because it was 'our thing'. So basically anything that has us bonding in some form or way, we'd do it.

"Me: uh oh. Should I worry?"

"Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: yurs.

Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: lol I'm kidding, you shall find out tonight!"

Boys.... They make the world interesting and so so complicated.

It was the first day of my volunteer work; I'm trying for Daycare at the "Y". So much to learn and so unprepared. I have a habit of cussing when things go the tiniest bit wrong but maybe my supposed "mama bear instincts" will kick in by the time I'm around the little ones..?

"Me: okay dork, I have daycare from 2 to 5... maybe 6. Don't miss me!"

"Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: I always miss you."

Did. I. Read. That. Right.

Always.
Always.
Always.

I close my phone as I'm walking into the daycare center now. Rules were very simple and not hard to follow: basically between the lines of 'keep your eyes on the kids and be a role model. No phones. Have fun.'

Between all those hours of spending time with those kids, they brought me a lot more joy in my days. Not the same affect as Cam, but it was a good distraction until then. They taught me a lot about life... I was surprised with what they had all gone through to be where they are now at such a young age. 5 year olds learning how to understand why their parents weren't together or why they don't get enough attention in the day. It was sad but I was there whenever they needed me; they knew that.

My first day and I had received at least 5 welcoming notes to the "Y-Family". My heart felt so warm and at peace with things in that moment.

Janes Volunteer hours:
1-x-18 / 2:30 - 5:50

My godmother messages me that she's in the drive way ready to hear all about my first day. I tell her how much fun it was and that I already had a few little 'admirers'... which reminds me...

"Me: Still missing me?"

"Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: Hey! How was the first day? Did they eat you alive?"

"Me: Not completely lol"

"Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: I would, ur a snack (;"

There was no where to hide how pink my cheeks were, my godmother for sure was picking up on it.

By the time we got to my godmother's house, Aunt Katty (godmother's wife) walks outside to great us.

"How was the first day of your volunteer work?" She asks.

"Interesting." I smile softly and show her all the little notes I received.

"I'm so happy that the kids love you..." Aunt Seals (godmother) announces.

"Me too... I can't wait to tell Cam all about it! That's a good quality to have as a girl right?" I ask excitedly.

"Yes.... b-but don't get hung up on the idea that you're doing this for him." Aunt Katty says.

"No way. Boys? Control what I do? Please." I yell, running up the stairs to my loft.

"Me: I can't wait to tell you ALL about it!"

"Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: Sounds important enough for a FaceTime call lol"

"Me: Can you call right now? Or is tonight better for you?"

"Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chance: I'm hanging out with Ken and Trevor, working on Trevor's car. Can we do Tonight? I still have that 'thing' to tell you."

"Me: yeah! Whenever is good for you. I have no life here so, I'm down for whenever. Be safe! Have fun."

Poop.

I never realized how gloomy and boring my time is without him around. This isn't good.

"Babydoll! Dinner is ready! Aunt Katty worked really hard on it; I think you'll love it." Aunt Seals yells from downstairs.

"Yeah. I'm coming!"

Rushing down the stairs to all pile up on the comfortable couch and warm fireplace... my plate has already been made. But what am I eating?

"Hey, um..." I pick at my food, "what's this meat?"

"Korean meat. It's really healthy and good for you actually; just try it." Aunt Katty watches. I put the meat in my mouth.

It's almost like fatty steak.... with some kind of sauce on it. Hm, not bad.

"Like it? It's better with some of that white rice...." she explains.

"No no, I like it. Thank you for dinner." I smile.

The rest of the night is fighting over if 'The Fosters' is realistic or just like every teenage show. Then we talk about how teenagers work; my aunt was feeding me little grain bars and I require MUCH more energy than a pack of peanuts and whatever else it's made of. Aunt Katty says that "Kids eat much more than adults do because they're constantly growing. We require more food for more energy."

In my head I'm thinking, 'Or I'm low on iron (anemic) plus I'm on my monthly visit.. of course, I'm not going to be pleasant to be around in the morning...'

"I'm really sorry for the way I acted this morning. I shouldn't have taken out my nerves or confusion onto you, Aunt Sisi."

"Oh darling, it's alright. I just didn't know you needed some extra food, but I promise tomorrow will be a better day and we'll start it with a nice iron-filled breakfast."

Cameron 🖤👼🏼 Chances wants to FaceTime.... Accept or Decline?

"May I be excused? This is important."

They nod. Thank goodness...