Distance (A Sam Woolf Fanfiction)

Chapter 12: Goodbye (Part 1)

SAMS POV

Cancer. They found out that morning what had been the cause of Karens fainting episode. They found it in her liver. Stage 4. It wasn't looking well at all.

Karen had spent that night in the hospital with Lil. Not for a second did I leave her side. Those beautiful blue eyes seemed to be eternally glossed over. Her eyes were filled with sadness and pain. Knowing that there was nothing I could do to help her ate away at my already aching heart. Her mother was going to die and there was nothing I could do. I couldn't save her this time. I couldn't be her superman.

I remember vividly the moment when the doctor told them the news. I wasn't in the room of course, family only. But I distinctly remember the way the door open slowly and Lil emerged from the room still wearing her light blue dress, eyes puffy and red yet still captivating. Quietly, she made her way over to where I was sitting and took a seat next to me.

Her face was unreadable. There wasn't a trace of happiness or even sadness in her expression. Her eyes were bloodshot and bluer then ever but other then that, you wouldn't have been able to tell she had been crying. She looked numb. Unmistakably and heartbreakingly numb. She only spoke three words the whole night and I will never forget the way they left her lips. They were lifeless and emotionless. All the emotion she has had already been squeezed out of her. She's got nothing left to give.

"She's dying, Sam." She whispered so solemnly and quietly I almost didn't hear it.

At the sound of those words my heart dropped in my stomach. How could this be happening right now? Karen has always been like a mother to me. Since I was little, she's cooked me dinner, babysat me when my grandparents were out, given me advice on everything and supported my music. She was so generous and kind to me and to everyone. How could something like this happen to someone like her?

I could feel my tears building in the back of my throat. I forced myself not to loose it right then and there. Not with Lil holding on by a thread next to me. I have to stay strong for her. She's always been my rock and now I need to be hers.

"It's unfair." I breathe receiving a half hearted nod in return. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she continued to stare at the wall in front of her.

How could this be happening right now?

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That was almost 4 months ago. It's crazy how time flies. Karen has been slowly deteriorating. It's been hard on everyone to watch it happen, especially Liliana.

She acts happy and I know some parts of her are but deep down inside I know how much she's hurting. Everything is changing.

Lil said it herself on a late October night, "Things change, Sam." She spoke softly against my chest as we laid on the couch watching a movie. "Idol is going to change a lot of things for you. Its going to open so many doors. Sam, It's going to change you." Those last few words stuck with me, forever etched into my memory. I won't change, I can't, she is all I got. I have to stay the same, if not I risk the chance of loosing her. The thought of that causes my stomach to flip. Without her, I am nothing and I intend to prove that to her.

Since then I've been able to finish that song that I was writing before auditions and I think it might be my best yet.

The strangest thing of all though was that everyone suddenly payed more attention to me. I had a bunch of friends, but I wasn't exactly popular until now. Everyone was inviting me to parties, talking to me in the hallway, even the teachers seemed to treat me differently. Of course I knew that it was only because I was about to be on national television. In some ways it made me feel great, but at the same time they only liked me because of idol. They really didn't even know me.