Honey Yasmine: Lost

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I thought seeing Cassie after 3 years would be a moment of pure love. We wouldn't be able to contain our happiness of being in each other's arms again.. But it's the complete opposite. As i'm standing here staring at her, beautiful as usual maybe even more with a 3 year old version of me on her hip. He clings to her as I approach them asking who I am infuriating me more with her.

"What are you doing here?" "Really?" I ask looking at Micah. In person he looks even more like me. Everything about him screams he's my child. His lips, his eyes, his head shape, his curly hair. He just has Cassie skin complexion. "How did you .. when did you find out?" "It's me, how do you think I found out? Not from you." She rolls her eyes. Digging in her bag she grabs her keys. "might as well come in." She opens the door. I walked in behind her, she closes the door locking it. "Mandy! Can you come and get Micah please?" I'm guessing that's her maid but a young girl emerges from the kitchen. "Mandy!" Micah runs to her hugging her. "hey lil guy, what's for dinner tonight?" "grilled cheese and chocolate milk!" I chuckle as that's exactly what I used to eat as a toddler. Yes he's my son. "Grilled cheese and chocolate milk it is" They disappear into the kitchen closing the door to it.

"Let me have it." I was shook up that she just sat there waiting for me to yell at her. I so badly wanted to. She needed to be yelled at, told this was the dirtiest thing she could've done I stood over her and I just couldn't. Seeing her made my interior completely soften. The woman i've been drinking, dreaming about .. is sitting in my face after 3 years. She isn't the same woman. She's now the mother of my only child..

"Why didn't you tell me Cassie? It's been 3 years! I've missed 3 years of his life!" "I know.. I'm sorry I.." "You what? We're mad because of Mila?" "Shane." "No! Cassie, that's my son in there. You out of all people know how badly i would've wanted to be there, for everything. Your appointments, the kicks the birth.. you!" She looks up at me. "Where's your wife?" "She's not my wife Cassie. We divorced ... 2 years ago" The look in her face softens as she stood up. She is battling her feelings and her thoughts right now staring me in the face. So many questions so many feelings come of this moment that we just stood there looking at each other. "Why did you come back?" Stepping closer to her, expecting her to step away she doesn't. She stands there not leaving my gaze. The truth is, I didn't just come back for my son because I could've just let him grow up without me if I truly knew deep down I wasn't good for his mother or him. I deserve to be in his life, I deserve to raise my son, I also deserve to have a family. I raise my hand to cup her face the way she always like. She closes her eyes as my touch relaxes her, all the while intoxicates her. A tear makes its way down her face and I wipe it with my loose thumb. "Why?" "You know why." This moment nothing else mattered. Seeing her again after all these years confirmed to me I wasn't over her, even though time heals wounds I don't know if she's truly healed. "I don't forgive you Shane." "I know." "I don't trust you." "I know C." "I should be cussing you out right now and kicking you out of my house" "then why aren't you?" She moves my hand holding it in hers, she sighs. "It's been 3 years.. i.. i'm over it." "over it enough to-" "don't push your luck.." she let's go of my hand. She starts taking off her heels wiping the rest of her tears. "so Micah?" "Micah.." "your last name?" "yes." "can I meet him?" "i mean you're here now." "then can we .. really talk?" she sighs. "let's introduce you two, then i'll get him ready for bed and we can have a glass of wine and talk."

We enter the kitchen to Micah watching cartoons, eating grilled cheese. "Mandy could you give us a second with him?" "Of course." She gets up heading out, leaving us alone with Micah. "Micah, baby. Mommy needs to introduce you to somebody" He continues to eat his grilled cheese but looks at me. "Are you my dad?" His little high pitched voice sounded so innocent. So pure. His eyes are so big and brown that you sink into them. "Micah Black!" "Its cool Cass" I pull up a chair to his booster seat and sit right in his face. "Yes son. I am your dad" "really? mommy is this true?" "yes micah this is your dad" "mommy told me you were away on business, are you back now?" "yes son, i'm back now. I'm sorry I missed so many things but i promise i'll make the rest okay?" This visit is becoming easier than I thought. He smiles nodding getting up hugging me. Feeling his arms wrap around me awoke something in me. My heart started to beat as the person I made is hugging me giving off an almost instant love. The minute I seen the picture of Micah I knew he was mine and the moment I knew he existed, I knew I loved him. This very moment holding him in my arms my heart is whole. "Daddy will never leave you again. Ever" "Okay, are you staying for dinner?" I look up at Cassie as she's wiping tears from her eyes "Uh, yeah he can stay for dinner bubby but it's almost bedtime so don't be talking for hours." "Ok!" "I have a couple phone calls to make, are you good?" "of course, need to get to know my little man" "you heard that mommy, i'm a man" she smiles kissing his forehead "yes you are Micah. Mommy will be right back."