Part Two of "Losing Sammy"

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Part Two of "Losing Sammy"

Carter drove most of the way home in silence,only speaking to me if he had to. I knew he wasn't mad, "Just upset that I'm leaving in a week to live with my dad", I thought to myself. The trip back was agonizingly quiet;only the tires on the road made noise constantly. Glancing over at Carter, I saw that he looked down, and tears welling up in his eyes. He sniffled loudly, and swallowed hard. "Why.. why do you have to leave Ann," he murmured softly. I took in a sharp breath. "This is hard for me too, ya know", I said, sounding harsher than I wanted. He opened his mouth to say something, but didn't. My foot ached, and I adjusted how I was sitting to face Carter. Tears started flowing uncontrollably from my eyes. I hated my dad. "Why is this happening?!", I thought. "I can't bare the thought of losing you Carter Allen..", I told him, my voice quivering. I tried to blink back the tears, looking straight ahead at the open road. He started to speak as I clinched my fist together . We are both crying by now,silent, piercing tears. His eyes were ablaze, tear streaked cheeks, and he was pale. I started stuttering, feeling terrible for being harsh with him earlier. My eyes were stinging, and I felt so dizzy. Carter started driving faster.. from 50 mph, to 70..80,85.. "Slow down", I barely said. "Slow. Down", I said louder; he went to 90 mph. My chest tightened. "Carter.. Please slow down". I was shouting by now. I swallowed hard, pushing back the tears of anger. After a minute, he finally did. "I'm sorry", he whispered, gripping the steering wheel.
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I looked up, and I was at my house. My dad was out of his car, and looked hurt when Carter pulled up with me in the passengers seat. I cursed quietly under my breath as Carter hit the steering wheel with his hand, pressing his lips together. My heart was racing. "What should I do?", I thought. I took a deep breath and opened the trucks' door to explain why I am with Carter, and not Sarah. My mom was standing by my dad now, her hand on one hip, the other waving around angrily talking about something with him. I came out of the truck with a smile,which wasn't easy. I thought I had another week with Carter. I might have another hour maximum. Mom smiled weakly, and we all just stood there for awhile awkwardly. I squeezed Carter's hand, he looked at me with such remorse and pain, I couldn't bare it. "Well, I better go pack..", I said to my dad and walked inside of the house with Carter. When we got to my room, I sat on my bed with my hands holding my head up in my lap, my hair covering me like a curtain. He sat there with me with his arm around me. I lift my head up and see Carter's beautiful brown eyes swimming with tears. They had flecks of gold, highlights of a lighter shade of brown.. I never thought I would find someone to love, and I did. He was everything to me. There were so many memories in that room from me and him. He was my first kiss,my first everything-almost. Whenever he first started coming over to my house last year before we started dating, he told me he liked me in my room, by my dresser. I look around my room again, and remember the day after the dance. He came to my house late on that Saturday morning, seeing me in my mismatched pjs and my hair a mess, but still called me beautiful. I think that's when I first started to fall for him full force. Him flopping on the couch in the living room, and watching Sam's favorite cartoons. He never knew that those were his favorites though. Then Carter peeking his head in my room, with me not having a shirt on yet. He didn't make me nervous much after the dance. I guess that's why I didn't mind. Afterwards, we went to my favorite place in town for our official first date. I sighed. I can't leave. "I just can't leave", I thought aloud. "It will only be a little while though, right?", Carter asking hopefully. "I'm not sure how long", I thought. "Yeah", I replied, mainly because if I said what I was thinking we'd both start crying(again). I tried to quit having a pity party for myself, and pulled my suitcase out from my closet, and my guitar case as well. Carter stated blankly at me as I was packing,and every once in awhile I would kiss him, like it was the last time I would, because it might just be the last. I closed my eyes for a moment, just to breath, to not loose my composure . I hear a Zip! and that makes me not so zoned out . I look to see what it was; Carter put the rest of my clothes I had set out to pack in my suit case for me and zipped it. His hair was falling in his face when he leaned over to do so. I run my fingers through his hair so he could see. Somehow, I end up sitting in his lap on my bed with my head on his shoulder with him fiddling with my hair and me with his once in awhile. I heard a knock at the door; it was my dad. "Honey, we need to leave soon", he said. I like his voice, but that's one of the only things I do like about him. I was still. As if he wouldn't know I was here if he couldn't hear me. Which was idiotic, but that's what I did. Eventually, I stood up and picked up my bag, only to have Carter carry it for me. I was wearing my favorite hoodie; it was Carter's and it smelled like his cologne. We walked out of the house, and it felt like everything was in slow motion. He somehow held my hand, and carried that heavy bag with one hand. My heart was in pieces, and I felt the room spinning. "Thank you for asking me to dance",I said to Carter, tears streaming down our cheeks, as we walked hand in hand out the front door. My chest felt constricted, and it was coming. The "goodbye" that would rip my heart out. I had to leave my one and only friend left who was soon leaving me as well.

"You are the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me...Anna",he said, his voice cracking as I started sobbing uncontrollably. Getting into that car was/is the hardest thing I've ever had to. As we started pulling out of the drive way, Carter just stood there in my yard, crippled over crying about as hard as I was. I couldn't do it. Dad stopped, looking both ways before pulling out onto the road. I took that as my chance to escape. He started to pull out, but I was too fast. I tumbled out of the car into a ball as he stepped on the gas. I stood up in my drive way, and started running to Carter as fast as my legs could carry me. My dad turned the car around to get me. He stepped out of the car and tried to pry me and Carter off each other. But it was no use. By then, I had gone idiotic. Screaming at him, Carter screaming at him too. I would have laughed about that if I wasn't being torn away from him. "Please just get in the car!", he said, raising his voice. "I HATE you!", I screamed angrily in his face. This pain is just too real. I can't handle it. I buried my face into Carter's shoulder. "I can't imagine living without you Ann, but you need to go for me please get in the-", he told me, trying not to cry, which he was failing at."If you have to leave please leave now, we're just torturing ourselves being together", I heard Carter say, right before my dad became furious with me and literally picked me up and took me to the car. I didn't resist. But I did ask if I could tell him something before we left. He let me go to him, surprisingly. "You'll always have my heart, but if you fall in love again with another girl, I'll understand someday.." I said, taking his hand in mine,"Because of you, I learned to love again, after Sam passed", I added, smiling through my tears. His facial expressions were hard to read, except tears spilling out. I looked away, and tried to walk back to the car. "I'm so crazy about you Anna, you make me feel like I belong,",he told me, smiling as well. He took in a small breath. "Shoot, I've never cried like this before,", he said, laughing and wiping away some tears welling up,"Don't worry about me finding anyone better, because there isn't". I kissed Carter for the last time, and I sat down in the car. Dad locked the doors that time. I almost laughed about it. He started talking to me, so I put on some hard core music I listen to whenever I feel really down. I turned it up all the way, and leaned my head against the window, closing my eyes, and wiping away the last tear I would allow myself to cry in front of my father.

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