Lily Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts

The Party

Turns out, Jack couldn’t have been more right about not letting me go. The party had started about an hour ago when Zack finished the burgers. Jack seemed to be literally glued to me the entire time. If his arm wasn’t around my shoulders or my waist, he was either getting me another drink or he was going to the bathroom. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Like, on one hand, he’s Jack Barakat. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with him? But on the other hand, I was sure he was doing it just to make me uncomfortable. Not in the mean way, but in a teasing way. That’s just the kind of guy he is, right? He makes jokes. That’s all there is to know. So I found it really hard to make a decision about whether or not to tell him to back off, or to not say a word and just enjoy it.

Because I’ve ran into this situation before. Mildly cute guy (although Jack was more than mildly cute) decides to flirt with me, I seem to forget said guy is just messing around with me, and then I end up falling for said guy and said guy breaks my heart. I’m not going to name any names, but you know who you are.

And I didn’t want to go through that again. Not for anyone. Especially not when there’s any way I can avoid Jack, considering I’ll be on a tour bus with him for half of a year.

I was abruptly jolted out of my musings by the feeling of arms wrapping around my waist and something warm and solid pressed against my back.

“Hiya, Lily Flower.” I felt Jack breathe into my ear, making me shiver. He smelled like the beer he’s been drinking all night, but also strangely like… guys. I don’t really know how to explain it, but Jack Barakat smells like Guy. It’s kind of like this musky man-smell that somewhat intoxicates you. I don’t know. Ignore my semi-drunken musings.

“Uh, hi, Jack.” I said quietly, and he responded by walking backwards and taking me with him. I let out a soft squeal of surprise, causing him to chuckle lightly. Which, unfortunately, since he was pressed up against me, I felt. Jack spun me around quickly and sat himself down on the leather couch in the front room of the bus, then smirked at me and pulled me down with him so that my legs were resting on his lap and I was facing the side of his face. Or at least, I would have been facing the side of his face if he hadn’t turned to look at me.

No, ‘look’ is too nice of a word. Jack was staring at me. And if my eyes would have been closed, I still would have known he was staring at me because I could feel it. It was a soft, warm burn on the tips of my ears, my cheeks, and the back of my neck. Even though he was looking at my eyes. Except he was more like looking into my eyes, trying to see inside my soul and read my deepest, darkest secrets. And it was strangely not weird.

When a guy you met less than three hours ago looks into you like that, it’s creepy. There’s no way around it, it’s just very creepy. But Jack wasn’t creepy. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.

“So, I was thinking,” Jack began, not breaking eye contact with me.

I allowed a serious expression to fall across my face. “Jack, that’s dangerous.”

Apparently he was too drunk to take that as a joke, and instead waved my false concern away. “No, no, not about anything that would hurt. It’s about us.”

I raised my eyebrows, ignoring the way my heart seemed to jump out of my chest and dance on the coffee table before us. “Oh?” I asked, attempting to keep my voice neutral.

“We need a ship name.”

I almost choked on my own spit. “Excuse me?”

Jack nodded, a wide smile on his face, but he didn’t look like he was kidding.”Yeah. I mean, I want to put pictures of us on Instagram and stuff and we need a good ship name. Also, what’s your Instagram? Do you have one? If you don’t, I’ll make you one. It’s really –“

“You’re drunk,” I told him taking my legs off of his lap and standing up, but I immediately felt guilty about it after seeing the hurt expression on his face.

“Well, yeah. Aren’t you?” He sounded confused and just a little bit upset.

Oh my god. He looks like a kicked puppy. How do I deal with this?

“I am mildly tipsy,” I informed him before looking around for one of the guys, but not finding them. “Alex!” I called, knowing he would know how to handle a drunken Jack.

He pouted, standing up to join me, but he apparently wasn’t up for that and he promptly tripped over his own feet and grabbing onto my shoulders for support. He looked up at me and grinned. “Well, hello, there Lily Flower.”

“Alex!” I yelled louder, and the man himself came into the room, thankfully not appearing to be drunk. He raised one of his completely oversized eyebrows at Jack and then looked back at me.

“Your friend is very intoxicated,” I informed him, and tried to push Jack away from me. Unfortunately, even drunk he was a lot stronger than me and my efforts were futile.

“I’m not that drunk,” Jack muttered, sticking his tongue out at Alex. “I’m completely… completely… fine…” And with that total lie, the oversized man-child passed out on the nearest thing, which just so happened to be me. I squeaked and stumbled under his weight but was saved by Alex, who grabbed Jack by under the shoulders and rolled his eyes.

“I’m really sorry about him, Lily,” he told me sincerely, “He doesn’t usually drink this much.”

“It’s fine, really,” I told him with a smile, and I received one in return. It was almost funny, the differences in how I felt when Alex smiled at me and when Jack smiled at me. With Alex, it’s the same feeling I get every time I make eye contact with an attractive guy, only slightly more amplified because I’ve been idolizing him and his voice for the past couple years. Really, in the long run, it didn’t mean much.

 With Jack it’s more like a rush of blood to my head (heh, Coldplay) and suddenly it gets hard to breathe. Now, look, I know what you’re going to say. Lily, you have a crush on Jack! And my response would be no, no I do not. It’s a purely physical infatuation. Not a crush. In a few days, maybe a week if I’ve done something to piss off Karma, it will all go away, and Jack and I can be good friends.

 Maybe.

Possibly.

Hopefully.

Hopefully not.

God damnit.