Just Wanna Be Me

Chapter 4

A few days later I still feel like shit. Jacob has been texting and calling me nonstop, Dennis texts me everyday asking if i'm okay, and Victoria has texted me that she's so sorry and how she loves me. I haven't responded to anyone.

I walk around the city and go into an alley. I plop down and then realize that this is the alley I met Jacob in. I sit there and silently cry, mourning for my mother and father when my phone buzzes. Looking down I see it's a text from Jacob.

J: Hey, I don't know what happened but i'm seriously worried about you. Please tell me where you are! I miss talking to you and I wanna comfort you. I haven't slept in days since I got the call from your sister telling me you left. Please, i'm begging you, let me in. Let me comfort you.😞😭

I feel a sudden wave of guilt. I decide to tell him where I was, especially since i'm lonely and just want to be comforted.

C: I'm in the alleyway me and you met in.
J: OMG CJ! I'm on my way right now just stay there please!
C: I will.

Waiting for him I look at my uncovered arms and sigh. He's gonna run away.

A few minutes later he shows up and rushes to me. He doesn't speak he just bends down and hugs me dragging me into his lap like the day we met. I feel a damp spot forming on my shirt and realize he's crying so I comfort him.

"Shhhh. It's okay Jacob. Shhh" I say while running my fingers through his hair seeming to soothe him some. He lifts his head up and looks at me with bloodshot eyes and when I take a closer look he has dark circles under his eyes and it looks like he's been crying for days. "I thought i'd never see you again. I thought you left for good and it scared me so much." He says quietly. I just take him into my arms giving him a tight hug.

When the hugs over he looks down. He grabs my hands and pulls them up into the light and that's when I realize that I didn't hide my arms from him. I look down at the ground when he looks at my arms. "Oh my god. Why would you do this to your beautiful skin Cj?!? You're gorgeous, you're funny and sweet. So why would you do this?" He says softly. I continue to look down. He places his hand under my chin and lifts up my head so i'm looking into his eyes. "Why Cj? Please tell me." He says softly. A tear slips down my face as I speak, "I honestly don't know. I just feel broken and like I don't really exist. I feel like i'm worth nothing." My voice cracking some at the end. He raises my wrists up to his lips and lays soft kisses on my old and fresh scars. I start crying, violent sobs shaking
my body.

When he finishes he looks me in the eyes. "You may be broken but that's okay, I will try my hardest to help piece you together again. You exist or at least I sure as hell hope so because I don't want this to be a dream. You aren't worth nothing, you're worth everything. Please understand that. Please stop doing this to yourself. I care so much about you and I hate to see this. Please." He whispers. I nod my head unable to speak. I break eye contact and that is when I realize that the distance between us is very small. I glance at his lips and notice that if I were to move my face a hair closer our lips would touch.

Jacob seems to realize this too and his eyes seem to ask my permission and I nod slowly. In a split second his lips were on mine, our mouths in sync, and his hands pulling me closer as I run my hands through his hair. He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me closer to deepen the kiss. I feel as his tongue traces the edge up my lips asking for entrance and I gladly open up. We sit there for a while just kissing and enjoying the moment. Finally having to come up for air, I rest my head on his. He smiles at me and I return the gesture.

A/N:
I just wanted to let you know that I plan on trying to update a chapter once or twice a week. It depends on what's going on and if I have ideas. Please comment and tell me what you think and also don't forget to vote for each chapter if you like ittt.