PRE
"hey cal!" mila beamed a smile as she plopped herself on the sofa. instantly calum scooted closer and rested his head on her shoulder.
"hey," he mumbled with his cheek squished against her. she giggled and ruffled his hair a bit. "why do you always do that?"
"what? rub your head? i thought you liked it.." she questioned with her eyebrows furrowed.
"no, i do. not that." he sat up and shook his head, "you're always so cheery and happy. like all the time."
"i can't be happy to see you?" she asked again, growing more confused.
"you can, it's not a bad thing. i'm happy to see you too. i just wish i could be as happy and excitable as you are." he mumbled the last few words. he really did admire how she always seemed to be in a good mood, even if she had a bad day she always managed to make calum feel good.
"i'm just a happy person cal, it's who i am. you can be pretty excitable yourself sometimes," she laughed again. calum gave a blank stare and felt his nose twitch. he knew what was coming, and so did she.
"i wish i was more like you," calum sniffed, feeling tears cloud up his vision. he hated being like this, so upset and down all the time. he didn't know how to cope with any of his feelings, so he just kept everything in. which only resulted in sudden outbursts like this.
"aw, lovey. i like you the way you are." she smiled and kissed his nose, "i don't care if you're sad some days, i get sad sometimes too. it's okay to not be happy all the time." she explained and wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater.
"but even when you get sad, you still manage to uphold a positive exterior. you make everyone around you laugh and feel good. when i come around it's like everyone is suddenly depressed." he hiccuped. she sighed, and kissed his forehead. "and even mikey, who claims to be my best mate, says that he needs space from me because 'i'm too damn depressing,' what's wrong with me?" calum choked out and looked up to mila.
"it's okay, baby. it took me a long time to learn to control my emotions. and you will learn too one day, i can help you. it makes me feel better to make other people feel better. everyone goes through things differently, and shame on michael for saying that. he knows better than that," mila frowned at the last part, "trust me, whenever you come around, i get even more happy. you make me want to smile until i can't feel my cheeks. you are such a sweet boy, calum. you don't deserve to feel this way. you deserve the world and so much more and i'm sorry that i can't give that to you. i wish i could take some of your hurt away." she shook her head, and grabbed the crying boy and held him against her chest.
she wrapped her arms around his torso and laid them both down on the sofa. she ran her hand through calums dark curly hair and rubbed his back with her other. she felt her shirt dampen as calum choked out sobs into her.
"i love you calum. i know you don't like people to worry about you, i just can't help but. you aren't well, i want you to feel good." she whispered. calum sat up abruptly, with one hand on milas stomach. he rubbed his eyes with his fist.
"i love you, you're way too good to me." he mumbled and pressed his warm, semi chapped lips up against hers. he hummed against her soft lips. he kissed her like it was the last time. "so good." he kissed her again. calum kissed her until her could taste his own salty tears coming in between the two. "i'm a mess," he pulled away and shook his head.
"that's okay, still love you." mila mumbled and gave him a half smile. "i'll keep you together."
he laid back down on her stomach and let his eyes flutter closed. he kissed on her stomach over the worn out t-shirt and held a firm grip on her hips.
-
sad cal makes me sad :(
he deserves all the love and appreciation in the world <3
