Surviving the Odds (Sequel to DTO)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Asher

Lindon and I walk along the dirt path toward the Victor's Village and away from the only house that will ever be home to us. Though I wonder, as I hold Lindon's small hand in mine, if he'll grow up and forget that house, forget the memories we had in it and the ghost of our mother that lingers there.

I glance down at him and can't help but smile at the happiness on his face. Seeing him so happy, so carefree, should convince me that I haven't ruined everything. I tell myself that Lindon isn't upset with me for leaving him so soon after coming back from the Games, that he understands how much I love him.

But the longer I look at him, the more I notice how much has changed in him. The smile slips from my lips as I catch sight of the bags under his eyes and the way his clothes hang off his small frame. I want to ask what happened while I was gone, why he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. But I remind myself that he's only nine.

The realization hits me hard. It seems like so much more time has passed than a handful of months, like the Games are already some weird distant memory and I've been home for years. Lost, but home at the same time.

I let Lindon pull me along and lose myself so far into my thoughts that I don't process when we reach the new house.

"Asher's back!" Lindon says as he opens the door, his small voice echoing loudly in the large house.

A clattering of sounds erupts from the kitchen just moments before my father runs to the front of the house. And suddenly he's right there, all of the weeks I've been gone vanish and all I can think about is the note I left him before I went to Four. All over again, I feel like I've failed him, like I'm not the son he raised anymore.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I tell him before he can say anything.

For a while, he just stands across from me, his face a mask that I can't read. I brace myself for the lecture he's sure to give me, where he'll tell me how selfish I've been and how inconsiderate it was for me to leave without saying goodbye. Things I already know, things that stay in the back of my mind and taunt me.

Just when I'm sure he's about to raise his voice, he wraps his arms around me.

"It's good to have you back, Asher."

I'm too surprised to do anything, so sure that he had to be upset with me. When the shock subsides, I hug my father back. As we embrace, I realize how much I needed this—him, this hug, District Seven. All of it. I hadn't understood how much being away from home really affected me until right now.

Somehow, I'm homesick and not at the same time.

"I didn't mean to leave you, Dad," I say softly, still wrapped in my father's hug, feeling as if I were eight years old instead of seventeen.

"Oh, son. I know you didn't," He says, his voice tight. "I know."

I'm not sure how long we stay like that until Lindon decides to join in and squeeze his way into the hug. I can't help but laugh at him.

Right then, with the three of us hugging at the front of the house, it feels like nothing has changed. Like the Games never happened and there's nothing wrong. We're all good.

With a stomach full of the stew I grew up with, I send Lindon off to bed after assuring him that we'll have the chance to catch up tomorrow. After a while of coaxing, he finally drags himself up the stairs and into his room. I notice, with a tinge of remorse, that he leaves his bedroom door open, but I don't let myself wonder about the nightmares he has. Not now.