Letters To Myself (#Nanowrimo2017 Winning Novel!)

11,

Dear Myself,

The puppy is OK, the puppy is OK and everything and everyone is OK. That one word 'OK' I need to tell myself over and over again so that my anxiety doesn't kick off and cause trouble. This weekend though was fun since the whole family decided to go to a local festival but it wasn't just an ordinary festival, it was the South-West Food and Drink Fest happening in one of my favourite little towns close to us. With myself and my family, we love our food and drink and by getting the chance to support local businesses with their produce and keep them going is a pastime that brings us all together. Mum and Dad love to sample the meats and cheeses while myself and Damien head to the stand that showcases all of the pick and mix sweets, a little bag but what a lovely treat. The sun was warm for early in the morning as all four of us piled into the car. Dad fiddled with the CD player which is built into our car dashboard and selected a disc labelled Driving Anthems but in reality, it's just hard rock from the 70s. Mum had decided to bring with her a small cushion which in her seat, she rested her lower back against it. Now eight months pregnant, there are two things that she does the most: Running to the toilet and sleeping with lots of cushions behind her.

On reaching the little town, finding somewhere to actually park the car was a challenge. Mum snores a little bit so in between snores, Dad was cursing under his breath as he slowly navigated past cars and vans which the occupants of them had obviously gone into the Festival itself before discovering a clear space in which he could park safely. Damien with his headphones on listening to some rap or grime music as his fingers tapped the side of his leg in time with the beat. When the engine turned off, Mum slowly opened her eyes and faced over towards Dad who was still sat in the driver's seat. In an instant, I saw both of them kiss, with joy and love written across both of their faces as Damien stuck out his tongue in disgust which Mum saw and giggled at. Grabbing my things, I helped Mum out as Dad went over to pay for the parking ticket.

The hall where the Festival was being held was situated right next to the car park so the walk was painless. The loud chatter that approached all of us as we reached the big double doors made me realise that the hall was going to be packed out with local residents from the town and those who had driven from a short distance like our family did. Damien, still with his headphones on, made a beeline for the sweets stand while I hung back and witnessed my parents slowly walking round hand in hand, pointing out various products to try. Immediately, I felt my shyness from deep within prevail my mood which obviously had to happen at the wrong time and place since I did want to try some things too. A little trip on the stone floor whilst walking around brought me to a stand selling jams and chutneys, not really my cup of tea but still the interesting colours and smells drew me in.

Within minutes, I had sampled half a jar of raspberry jam which if you could tell Diary, was absolutely delicious and made my tastebuds tingle with delight. As the Spring approaches us here in the Northern Hemisphere, the only thing really on my mind is sampling fruits and anything tropical such as pineapples. The lady sat behind the stall on a chair was local and extremely helpful when it came to asking questions about how the jam is made. The only time that I had ever tried to make jam was when one summer holiday as a child, myself and my older cousins had gone to a farm shop which on that day, had a jam making workshop. I only lasted five minutes before finding the whole event to be too uncomfortable for my liking and running outside into the safety and warmth of my Mum's arms.

Reaching for my purse to pay for a jar, Dad suddenly taps me on the shoulder. In the distraction of eating raspberry jam, he points out that both he and Mum have been watching me from the other side of the hall as I was engaging in pleasant conversation and he pays for me to have a jar just for me and a jar for him and Mum. A satisfying result all round. Damien approaches us wearing a cheeky smirk and with headphones still in, waving in front of my nose a bag of sweets. In the split seconds that follows, my cheerful face turns into one of moody dark clouds like the approaching storm brewing from inside. I hate having arguments or being involved in any heated exchanges with my brother or any of my friends but when my buttons get pushed, I don't hold back.

Stomping away from my family and hearing my name being called, I run back outside the hall and across the car park, dodging pedestrians and a group of kids riding BMX style bikes en route towards the skate park. I have two places I could find to spend some alone time in the town: The Library or one of the numerous charity shops that lined up across one street. Even though it's closer to the hall, the displays of library books and posters on the walls were calling me in. My frantic running slows to normal walking pace as I located the YA section in the corner away from the crowds of computer users and readers. It's been a while since I've visited this Library in particular since it's not the closest to where my family live but overall, it's a nice one to just escape to and sample all of the new fiction books that come in.

Just by exploring, I spot books by authors such as Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give is one book that I honestly will never forget. After this book was recommended to me in a Bookseller in the city's Waterstones store, words can't explain how emotional and gripping it was, reading the events that happened to Starr. If I was a secondary school English teacher, this would be on a required reading list for sure. Others that I read a while back also caught my eye, Sharon Gosling's Fir, a Horror novel where you as the reader don't know if the main character in the story is male or female, what they look like, how old they are etc. A mystery within a mystery is how I like to describe the book. Also, the entire Hunger Games trilogy which if you didn't know Diary, is my favourite trilogy in the entire universe. I enjoyed the first film but still need to watch the others starring Jennifer Lawrence playing Katniss.

I find three books after searching the shelves and swipe my library card on the self-service machine to issue them out. To balance coursework and writing in you, I do the majority of my reading very early in the morning but being careful not to walk anyone else up. Just as I was putting the books into my bag, I feel a soft, gentle kiss on my cheek to which I spot Mum wearing a relived expression that by finding me, she could rest easy for the rest of the day.

I am going to wrap my entry off here because after the moment Mum found me, not much else happened apart from travelling home and trying to ignore Damien as much as possible. The joys and downfalls of having a younger sibling... but I think the new baby will be a friendly and beautiful addition. The womb works in mysterious ways so who knows what to expect?

See you again!

Yours,

Morwenna