LOCA POR TI ✗ On My Block

TRECE

leaving the semi-empty stadium, esperanza walked behind monse, olivia, and ruby as they discussed what jamal had done.

out of nowhere, esperanza felt a hand grab onto her wrist and turned her around.

"your feelings aren't one-sided," cesar started, "you could've told the truth. you didn't have to do that,"

"no, i did," esperanza retorted, "you seen what that one damn kiss did,"

"yeah, a kiss that didn't mean anything,"

"or you're just saying that,"

"it didn't,"

"then why? you kissed her back. maybe, we should just be friends, cesar,"

"no, all i have to do is be honest and explain why you couldn't,"

"then they'll know that the rumor actually happened, and that i lied,"

"then just come clean. i don't understand why you can't just do that,"

"no eres una niña. us fucking hands you cred. para me, it makes me a slut,"

"not if we're together," cesar says, stepping closer to esperanza, which made her slightly push him back.

"no! then i'm 'your bitch'," esperanza said, shaking her head, "and that means you're only conmigo por  una razón,"

"but i want to be with you, espy,"

"and me with you, but we can't," esperanza's eyes now stinging with tears, as she saw how hurt cesar had gotten at her words.

"why?" cesar asked.

"olivia was right, we're una familia y si estamos juntos, it might break everything,"

"it won't,"

"lo sabe con certeza? exactamente," esperanza said, as cesar crossed his arms, not replying to what she said.

"so what are you saying?" he asked, looking in esperanza's dark brown eyes for an answer.

"i can be your friend, and maybe that's all i should be," esperanza said, "plus olivia likes you, y me gusta ella. try that maybe,"

once esperanza was done, she walked away from the boy who she had fallen for oh-so many years ago. tears fell from her eyes as she walked away, knowing that cesar had felt almost as broken-hearted as espy did.

⌑

once esperanza had gotten home, she went straight to her room, plugged her phone into the speaker and played music.

as lucid dreams came on, she heard a small knock on her door, before it opened to reveal eva.

"hey hermanita," eva spoke, seeing her sister holding her knees to her chest.

"you're back early," esperanza's voice cracked, as eva walked to the other side of the bed and sat next to her.

"what's wrong anza?"

"you know, just something stupid happened,"

"if it's making you like this it's not that stupid," eva said, moving esperanza's hair behind her ear.

"no, it is," espy said, tears welling in her eyes again, as she glanced down.

"come here," eva said, putting her arms around her youngest sibling, "you know i love you with all my being, right?"

"yeah," esperanza sniffled, "i love you too, eva,"

the pair sat in silence for a couple moments before espy spoke.

"do you ever think about papá?"

"all the damn time, why?"

"he usually is the one that helps get me through stuff like this, but since he's gone, and no ones ever home, i go through it alone,"

"espy, i'm here. you can call me whenever you need me, tú sabes esto,"

"yeah, yeah i do. can we just lay down and sleep?"

"whatever you want, hermana,"

and within ten minutes the two navarra's were asleep, music still playing in the background.

⌑