heartless [Levi x Reader]

Worry

You'd woken up early as heck once again.

The first thing on your mind was Levi.

You hated that.
Kind of.

You get dressed, taking your sweet time while you ponder the fact of Levi being on your mind. The talk with him last night was nice... you guess. Didn't mean anything though, surely. Soon enough, especially since he'll be sober today, Levi would be back to trying to stab you. And you'll be back to annoying and angering him.
Erwin was wrong. You two would never be able to mend anything, when there was nothing to mend in the first place. You two just hated each other, and that's that. No reason behind it. No backstory needed.

...so here you are deciding to visit him early again.

You enter the hallway, surprised to see Hanji heading in your direction. She seemed a little surprised to see you too, until a dark smirk lit up her face. She asked, "So, have you and Shortie settled that sexual tension, huh?"

You pause in your tracks, feeling nothing but dread and anger. You glares daggers at her, spitting "What?" from your mouth like venom. At that, she seemed to regret her choice of words. But she played with fire anyways.

"Well, that's what's going on with you two, isn't it?" She blushes, "I bet you two had furious hate sex last night. All the captains were wondering where—"

You had her up against a wall quicker than either of you expected, but you went with the flow. Adrenaline pumped through you and you held your arm roughly against her throat. She choked, "Uncle! Uncle!"

"I'll have you killed before you say anything like that ever again." You snarl, "there is nothing between me and that heartless, gay-ass clean freak. I'd much rather die now than ever consider sleeping with that sorry excuse for a captain. Am. I. Clear?"

She wheezes, "Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am!"

You release her, watching her drop onto one knee to catch her breath. You turn your back without a word, slipping down the quiet hallway and not bothering to look back. How dare she. How dare she. You were not your sister.
Is that what everyone was expecting of you? To just suddenly become your sister? Is that what Levi assumed? Is that why he apologized?

You thought about turning back, but you headed in his direction anyways. Jumping to conclusions was the wrong thing to do, in any sort of situation. You knew this. But dear lord, you really wanted to right now.

You make it to his door, but pause. Your right hand slowly curled up into a fist as you debated knocking. You raise your hand, and stop again. What were you doing, and why are you doing it?
Did it matter?
You don't need a reason, so you?
The door opens, and you flinched, your reflexes forcing you to salute to the corporal. Shock matched your expressions. But he furrowed his brows first.

"What are you doing?"

You relax, quickly resting your hands at your sides. "Dunno. What are you doing?" Bad response!! Bad response!!

"Leaving my office."

"Why are you up so early?" You try to redeem yourself. It didn't feel like it was working.

"Why are you?"

"Maybe I was on my way to finally slit your throat, who knows? I asked you first."

"I was on my way to your office."

"What for?"

"None of your business."

"None of my business?" You echo, "How is it none of my business when it's my office?"

"For starters, you're supposed to be asleep at this hour."

"As are you." You shot back, "And even then, it's still my office when I'm asleep. Please continue with your explanation?"

"Get out of my way, (L/n)." He seems to give up now, dragging out the words with a defeated sigh.

"Hey, that's the first time you've ever verbally respected me by using my name." You dodge the request, "Keep that up and I just might like you."

He scoffs, "Liar."

"Liar?" You cock a brow, "You haven't even tried. How do you know if I would be lying or not?"

"Stop asking questions." He 'politely' requests, "stop wasting my time. Get out of my way."

He meets your eyes, and you realize you can't come up with a reply quick enough to keep all this going. So you sigh and step away from him, turning in the opposite direction and walking off. He still heads towards your office, but you don't bother to know what for anymore. You were still curious, sure, but you would find out later.
You continue a few steps, then realize you have no idea where you're headed anymore and you can't think of a destination. So you turn back around, seeing Levi has disappeared completely, and sneak into his office while it was left open.

Immediately you pause. There, on his desk, sat three empty glass bottles, standing in a perfect row. You head towards them carefully, as if approaching some scared creature in a corner. You gather them into one arm, start to turn, but hesitate yet again. What are you doing?
Going to throw them away?
Why?
Levi doesn't just leave messes like this around. There's something wrong. I should probably talk to him about it.
Why?
Stop asking me questions. I don't know why.
You walk around his desk, and sure enough, there's two more empty bottles on the floor. Your suspicion grew and grew. You pick them up as well, but then set all five back on the desk. You search through each drawer behind his desk, until you found another one— not empty, and unopened. You put that one up with the other five.

Quickly, you jog into Levi's room, and there's yet another glass on his bedside table. You walk around the bed towards it, snatch it up, then crouch low to look beneath the bed. There's nothing— that brought a little relief. A little.
Why feel relieved at all?
Why do you suddenly care?!

You shake your head. You didn't care. You scoff. "I'm just as heartless as he is."
Am I, though?

You leave the room, remembering to shut the door, and headed back to his desk. You went to pick up the rest of the bottles, but pause. Was it early enough? Could you throw these away in time without running into anybody who would ask questions?
Guess you'd have to risk it.

As you hurry towards the mess hall, or the nearest trash can, you thought about what to say. Why should you say anything at all? This was his problem— But Erwin said... you growl to yourself, slipping into the kitchen area. You dumb all the bottles in there, including the one that was full. A waste of good beer, but...

Why are you doing this?! You don't feel anything for him. I don't feel anything for him! Why would I? I am not my sister.
"I hate him." You tell yourself, "I hate him, I hate him..."

But you were worried.
You can't hate him if he can't hate you back.
Wait, what do I mean by that?
The thought only worried you more. You stare down at the bottles in the trash, biting on your lip with concern.