Scars And a Cup of Coffee | Zarry [complete]

Chapter 22: Harry

Scars And a Cup of Coffee

Harry stared at Zayn's now sleeping face, and couldn't help the feeling of hopelessness that wrapped around his heart. He'd been at a constant battle with himself, contemplating if he was what Zayn needed.

Sometimes, he convinced himself he wasn't.

But, his thoughts transitioned darker as bleak as the night that surrounded him. The man he loved laid in his arms, shivering minutely from no doubt a looming nightmare. Harry couldn't protect Zayn from himself, and the fear that enveloped Harry at that thought was crushing.

He held Zayn tighter. The pain that his lover was going through, was causing him to distance himself. Zayn was falling further and further away from Harry, and they were both being effected by the emptiness. Harry knew Zayn wasn't doing it intentionally, but it hurt all the same.

Harry was starting to miss their long talks about nonsense, and telling each other about their days. The were further apart than ever when they needed each ornery the most. Harry had received a concerned phone call from one of Zayn's professors. Zayn was failing in uni, too.

Things were falling apart.

Harry cried into Zayn's hair, the cries muffled because he didn't want to wake up the sleeping soldier. The stress was effecting both of them. He wheezed slightly, and shut his eyes firmly.

He wondered if they were going to be okay.

***

Zayn was already up and about when Harry woke. He thought today was going to be better but he realized Zayn wasn't whistling. Harry tensed, hoping that everything would get back to normal.

If they ever were.

Sluggishly, he got up and followed the shuffling noise to the den. There was his Raven-haired beauty, surrounded by crumpled papers and hunched over the coffee table.

"Good morning," Harry rasped, his voice sounded like creaky floor boards in an old house.

Zayn didn't respond.

Harry coughed, "Do you want some tea?"

Zayn crumpled up the paper he was writing on and threw it to the floor with its other fallen brethren.

His jaw clenched, "Coffee?"

Silence.

"Do you wanna talk about last night?" Harry tried, grasping at air. That one incited a reaction from Zayn. His lover's hand faltered as he was writing, but all the same he ignored Harry. "Did I do something wrong?"

He felt like this conversation was sand falling through his fingers. He didn't know if he could hold it long enough, if he could keep a single grain from dropping. He felt like he couldn't do what was needed.

Something fell onto the paper Zayn was working on, and Harry raised an eyebrow. Harry was about to take a step forward when Zayn finally looked up.

Tears fell from his eyes as he emitted a feeble, "No."

"Are you okay?" Harry took a step forward.

"No."

He shuffled closer, "Are we okay?"

"I don't know."

Harry kneeled, delicately kissing away the tears. He couldn't help ask the same question to himself. They were falling apart at the seams. Nothing seemed right.

"Harry, are we gonna be okay?"

"I don't know." He answered truthfully, unintentionally mimicking.

"What's wrong with me? I feel like a robot going through the motions, not an actual human being." Zayn sighed. "I want you closer but I end up pushing you away."

Harry pulled him in. Glad to hear the words that calmed him. They sat cross legged on the floor facing each other, foreheads resting on the other's. "We'll get through this."

"Are we?"

"Yes. Then you are going to get your teaching degree, I'll be running Á La Mode." Harry assured him, running a hand down Zayn's arm, gripping his wrist. "We will be happy."

Zayn nodded, and Harry kissed him. "Could you help me with my speech?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I don't know them, love."

"I know, I know. I just...They are...You always have the right things to say, and I'm bad with words." Zayn stuttered, hands fidgeting with the balls of paper in the floor.

Harry smiled, feeling the sense of helplessness ease a bit, and be replaced by warmth. "Yeah, I'll help you. Where do we start?"

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That wasn't a very good chapter, it was very filler-y tbh. Idk, I just needed a chapter where how everything was effecting Harry, well both of them really.

I'm still in a foreign country. Yay, no air conditioning. \ (╰︿╯≡\)

Anyways, please check out other stories on my profile!!!  They're there waiting to be read and enjoyed. At least I hope you enjoy them, if you don't that's bad. SO PLEASE ENJOY THEM!  And pleaaase,

COMMENT, VOTE, or FAN!

-Mitchi