As My Life Goes On...

1) Hope

Re-Cap

"Ms. Phoenix? Ms. Phoenix?" I snap my eyes open and look at Mr. Light. His lip is in a grim line that I have seen so many times. Its called judgement. I just stand up and say "I understand"  and walk away from the painful situation that happens every job interview.

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My Name is Lavender Phoenix. I am now alone in the world with my six year old brother, Thorne Phoenix, and I am jobless. I am 23 years old and an ex-dancer. I do not have any idea what is going to happen and I dont know what I can do.

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As I leave the job interview I have a small pain in my chest and it is called rejection something no one usually wants to feel unless they find pleasure in it. I close my eyes as I finally reach the world outside the building and I take a deep breath trying to hold in the tears that want to cry in frustration. Frustation thats what I always feel. I am frustrated with myself for not being able to find a decent job. Frustrated with my dead parents for leaving me and homeschooling me.

I clear my thoughts not wanting to bawl out in the middle of the side walk and think of my day tomorrow. Tomorrow i have to enroll Thorne into school, I also have to drop him off a the sitter. Right afterward I have 3 interviews with some big companies. After I am done I go get dinner and get Thorne and then I start a new day. I sigh and start my walk home.

Nothing exciting ever happens in the busy streets of New York City, other than the smell of peoples piss and the digusting fumes. I let out a sigh of relief once I reach Tanya's house, my brothers sitters house. I ring the bell and I hear Tanya yell at Thorne to get his stuff.  She opens the door and coax me inside, I walk slowly inside not wanting to stay long.

"Sooo...How was the job interview?" I hear Tanya ask.I look at her, deep brown eyes with the pain I feel and shake my head.

"That bad? Damn, I'm sorry boo, but you know I will always be here to take care of you and your brother."

You see Tanya knows everything. She know my whole life story, because she is the one that got me out of the crazy exotic clubs and into a real life. She nurtured me to become a buisness woman and into a mom for my baby brother.

"Lav?" I hear someone whisper my name, I look behind Tanya and see Thorne and I quickly smile.

"Hey Thor!" I say and crouch down so I could get a hug from him. He doesnt go near me, in fact he looks at me and turns to Tanya and he said "Thank you Tan, see you tomorrow."

I feel hurt that he doesnt trust me but trusts Tanya. She gives me a sympathetic hug while Thorne pushes past me in a hurry to leave.

I leave the house and I see Thorne sitting on the steps of the building. I sit down next to him and sigh. "Whats wrong Thor?"

He just shakes his head and he says six words that break my heart "I miss mom and dad."

I pull him close and try to calm him down. "So what does this have to do with me?" I question him.

He looks at me with his blue eyes that looks just like my fathers. "You look like mom." he whispers and I feel my insides break down. I pulled him onto my lap and held him tight. After what seemed like 10 minutes we finally got up and started walking to the restruant that we always eat at and enjoyed each others company.

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When we finally reached home I was carrying Thorne to his bed and tucking him in. I dropped the house keys into my purse and left it by the kitchen counter. I quickly got a glass of water and went into my room thinking. Usually people would say leaving your self to your own thoughts was bad. It made you think of the past, the present, and the future. At the moment I was thinking of the future not wanting to ruin my dreams later on with the horrid memories of my past.

The past. My mom wouldnt of liked to see me this way. Frustrated. My dad would have hugged me and said "You're and always will be my little princess." I remember when I was 15 and I held a huge grudge over my parents for not letting me go to public school, I didnt talk to them for a whole two weeks before I finally broke and started talking. I regret that.

I closed my eyes and laid down on my bed wanting to forget that it was my fault my parents were dead. With that thought I started to go deeper into my thoughts. I started going into my cruel dreams.

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BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Fuck mornings. Fuck the suns glare that was coming through my window. Fuck stupid bosses that hated my previous work. Fuck everyone. I thought as I woke up. I slowly started getting out of bed trying not to trip or fall out. I took one step out of my bed and feel head first on the floor.

"Ow." I said involentarily

I looked my at my left leg and saw that my bed covers were begging me to come back and warm them up with my body heat. I couldnt I had to get up, go take a shower, wake Thorne up, take him to the sitter, sign him up for school, and go to a job interview.

I quickly went to the bathroom and took a quick shower while doing the rest of my necessities. I got dressed in my 'I am going to an interview' clothes and went to go wake up Thorne.

"Thorrrrne." I said in a normal voice. I heard him groan and turn over so I saw his back instead of his sleeping face.

"Thorne." I said in a sharp voice. I heard him respond in a muffel with im not getting up.

"Fine Thorne I shall go get the ice cold water." I said hoping I wouldnt have to do that.

"I'm up." Thorne said immdiatly after I said that. I smiled and said "Go have a quick bath and by the time you are out, your clothes will be out and food will be ready."

He nodded his head while rubbing his eyes as if it would wake him up. I quickly got a pair of denim jeans and a dark navy shirt that saids "Chick dig me." and his shoes out. I went to the kitchen and got his favorite cereal and sat down while I ate mine.

By the time it was 8 A.M. Thorne and I were out the door heading to Tanya. I gave a quick good morning to her and headed to the school where I sat there for an hour filling paper work out. I look at my watch and saw that it was 9:45 A.M. and my interview was at 10. I quickly left the school and called a cab seeing as I wouldnt have time to actually walk there. I gave the gruff old man the adress and we drove there pretty fast. I hopped out left him a 10 and went inside the big glass building.

I took out a piece of paper that I had in my purse that told me the information I needed. I saw dead ahead a bored young lady and I walked up to her.

"Good morning, I was wondering if you knew where Mr. Russel-"

I was cut off by her bored monotoned voice "Floor 10."

I nodded quickly and went to the elevator and waited a few minutes when I heard a ding. I looked up and went into the elevator and pressed the last number, which was 10. As I went up I looked at my clock 9:54. I heard the doors open and I saw that I was on the 10th floor. I looked up and saw a chippey old lady answering calls.

"Good morning ma'am I was wondering if Mr. Russel's office is here?" I asked

"Why yes it is and you must be his 10 o'clock?" she questioned me in a happy tone. I nodded and said that she would tell Mr. Russel that I was here. As I waited I took in my surroundings.

The man had a nice cozy place here. The walls were a golden color so when the light hit it, it would be an amazing view. He had white soft couches with a warm brown rug underneath, there was a  glass table in the middle with a stack of magazines. I smiled as I realized that I might get a job here. Might.

"Mr. Russel is waiting for you." Said the lady and I smiled and nodded a thanks.

I walked into the office feeling nervous, but I felt hope surge throught me, telling me I was going to get the job. I need to get it. Not for me but for Thorne.

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Hello everyone! I Would like to thank you for reading and I am sorry if this chapter bor you to death. I promise that the next one will be more entertaining than the last. The picture is Thorne by the way. Vote, Comment, and Fan <3

P.S. I will be updating on Wednesday or Tuesday