Chapter One

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Trigger warning!! This entire story is going to be very intense!! It will include self harm depression anxiety and eating disorders. I am not  holding back i want people to know what it is like to have an eating disorder and that there is nothing glamorous about it. If you want an eating disorder trust me you don't and hopefully this scares you away from our little community of sufferers. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

19:21:13 

19:21:14

19:21:15

Nineteen hours twenty-one minutes and six-teen seconds 

That's how long its been since the last time I ate. My stomach is burning with hunger and it screams to be fed. I can barley stand without feeling as if i'm going to collapse. But deep down I feel a sense of pride. Through the pain and hot flashes and shaking i feels as if I've achieved something.I know the pain will pass and the achievement will make me want nothing more than to feel that pain for the rest of my life. But I also know that if that is how I go on there wont be much more life to feel the pain in.  

19:22:13

All I have done today is sleep. Its the best way to pass time. You cant feel hunger in your sleep. I've dreamed of bingeing on chocolate, pasta, pizza, chips, and all my favorite foods. I wake up full of guilt from something I did not do. 

19:23:13


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