My Merc (Spideypool)

Chapter 10 - Fruits and Fucks

Peters P.O.V

Today was a slow day. No one really needed any help. I sat on the top of a tall building eating a sandwich, swinging my head along to the music playing through my headphones.

I wondered what Tony was doing right now. I pulled out his phone and sent him a text.

'Hello Sir, how's it going in Stark tower!'

I sat back and looked at the text I had just sent. Hell, what was I thinking, Tony never replies to me. I just stayed hopeful. I often got bored watching over the city, I wished I could do exciting things with the big guys. Although I wished for that I reminded myself that if I did that, no one would be looking out for the citizens in the neighborhood.

That, and Aunt May would be incredibly pissed if I sprung it on her that I wanted to go spend all my time with a multimillionaire, and a bunch of other heroes that were constantly fighting horrible people.

Sighing, I put my phone back in my backpack. I was so unbelievably bored. Which made me wonder what Wade was doing. He seemed like the kind of person to make a boring time incredibly fun in some weird sick way.

My wishes were answered when the hairs on the nape of my neck rose and sirens sounded in the distance I watched as three police cars and an ambulance sped past at incredible speeds. I launch off the building and follow behind them, swinging between buildings with my web.

I was incredibly curious, what had I missed? The cars stopped outside of a small shop called.. Fruits and Fucks..?

I had two guesses about what a shop called Fruits and Fucks would be about. It either sounded like a messed up grocery store, the kind where you go in for pretzels and leave without your virginity. Or an adult shop.. for plastic bits. A chill went up my spine, that sounded like a horrifying experience. I decided to wait outside. I mean, legally, I wasn't supposed to go into adult stores.

I glanced into the windows to see the police frantically waving me in, they were trying, and failing, to place a body bag onto a stretcher.. I reminded myself that they didn't know who I was and that I wasn't supposed to be in the shop.

I cautiously walked in, I probably looked like I was scared something would jump out and grab me, and helped the police hoist the body bag up when I noticed something something the police hadn't yet.

The man had been killed behind the counter, presumably with a blade of some sort because of the spray of blood on the wall. But there was a box, on the other side of the room. It was in a delivery basket but it also had blood on it. I slowly walked over, grimacing at the sex toys staring back at me. It was a shipping package, some one had smeared blood in messy script on the parcel. I picked it up to get a better look.

*Hope you have a dick fuckin' good time with these goods! Love, your friendly Dildo Delivery guy, Deadpool*

I was horrified. I quickly slipped my mask off and smeared the blood till it was illegible and pulled my glove back on to hide the evidence that I had tampered with, well.. the evidence.

"Hey, Spiderman! Whatcha got there?" The police asked, holding his hand out.

"Here.. I don't understand why there would be blood over here.." I lied as I shoved the parcel into his open arms. The feeling of the sticky blood in-between my hand and the glove made me feel ill but I kept it from showing through in my actions.

I watched as the police carefully ripped open the parcel, it was simply a shipping order of toys, Goddammit he was such an idiot.

___

After helping the police close and clean the crime scene I went looking for Deadpool. I couldn't find him anywhere, after spending hours looking for him I gave up I decided to go home.