ashton needs to listen to stephen by brayton bowman. maybe if he replaces "stephen" with "ashton" it'll help he realize how i feel. well, some of the lyrics hit home. a few of them i don't agree with, but for the most part it's how i feel.
or maybe not. i wish i knew he knew how i felt sometimes. other times, not so much. he honestly messes with my mind.
i swear ashton made me fucking nuts. michael says that he didn't make my brain like this and i'd still be a nutjob if i never even met ashton, but i'm not sure i believe him. if i'd never met ashton, i'd probably be in university right now, studying to be a producer like i've always wanted. instead, i'm going to therapy with fucking susan once a week on saturday and outpatient groups at the hospital monday to friday. my psychiatrist deemed me a difficult case. he's fucked too.
i wish he understood if i never met ashton fucking irwin then i'd be fine. too bad he insists i'm fucking nuts.
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