Ambivalent Souls

Crash & Burn

Killian's POV-

I stared at the woman in front of me, the now almost completely dark sky, pairing perfectly with where this conversation was going. Hurt. Confusion. But the desire to redeem, was in her, and I didn't understand it. Darkness... isn't that what brought us together? Why would she want to banish it from herself, it was a part of who she was.

A long silence passed in which both of us thought through the one word I had just said: What. A harmless word, really, but the way I said it... it was accusing and judgmental, like I ordered a thousand daggers to be held to Regina's throat.

"Regina," I started, softly, not wanting my different opinion to come off as hate. "Why do you want to get rid of your evil? It's part of who you are. It makes you strong."

Regina's mouth gaped open for a split second before she yelled, "So without using dark magic, without being evil... you think I'm weak?!"

"Tha- thats not what I mean, Regina. I-"

"Then what do you mean?" She crossed her arms and stared me right in the eyes, piercing my soul with her gaze.

"I-I.." I struggled for words, knowing that every passing second, was a good memory of us, together, being burned. Regina turned on her heel, tears streaming down her face, and left my ship.

I thought I heard something like, "I should've known." from Regina as she walked down the docks.

Regina's POV-

I reached my vault when a heavy rain started to soak the graveyard. The darkness in the sky didn't seem to end there, but traveled right down and through my body, my soul embracing its every touch.

I ran inside my vault and sank down onto the floor as soon as I got inside. I really didn't feel like talking to anyone, so I didn't call Dr.Hopper.

Memories of us, me and Killian, flashed through my mind, but in that moment all I wanted to do was make them burn.

Why did I love someone who can hurt me? Who knows how to hurt me. God, why did I even try for a moment to be good? He's right about me. I'm evil.

But the small incessant little voice inside of me was screaming. You are not evil. You never have been... just broken. And good can come from broken.

But could it? Well, yes. The real question was; would it? Was I too far gone? And what about Killian? If I redeemed myself would he? Did he love me enough to do the hardest thing anyone can do and change?

Killian's POV-

I sat at the counter of Granny's, several empty glasses of rum and a half full one in front of me, my head in my hands. No one bothered to ask me what was wrong, not that I expected them to, they didn't even know about me and Regina and I wasn't exactly liked.

I felt awful. I basically told Regina she was weak. I hurt her. The woman I love was in pain, because of me. Because I'm a stupid ass who has no idea how to love.

I had been sitting at Granny's for near an hour beating myself up harder than the beating of the rain on the window. I was a pirate, a man, I shouldn't let myself cry, but right then it didn't matter, none of that did, tears were spilling out of my eyes and I burned my face in my hands as to not be seen.

Another 15 minutes or so passed and I had finished my glass of rum. Another two were now in front of me and I gulped down one of them, in the hopes that I might be able to drown out my thoughts with it. Sadly, I had thought that about 1000 other times over the past 28 years and it didn't quite work as well anymore. I was still aware of the shitty situation I had gotten myself... and Regina into, for that matter.

Regina wasn't weak. I knew that, very well... She was actually the strongest person I've ever met. But still, of course I found a way to make her think she wasn't. I shook my head and downed half of another glass.

I suppose it had been the idea of redemption... well, of change, that got to me. I had lived as a pirate for so long that I guess the thought of being good scared me. I don't know, but I need Regina, I need my true love.

3rd Person POV- Storybrooke Streets-

A huge, open, green glowing, swirling portal ripped open the paved street. It was odd and bright against the wet, black pavement but  attracted no attention, as almost everyone was asleep at the hour.

The portal spit out a girl, a woman, seemingly in her early 30's with raven black hair and the most vibrant teal-blue eyes. She wore a large leather jacket, blacker than black, ebony colored leather pants and a black tank top. The woman wasn't very tall and quite petite, seemingly harmless, but the glint in her eyes, the trademark smirk, and the little fire being emitted from her left palm, had other ideas.

And somehow, she looked like the perfect mixture of pirate and queen...

Like the twist? ;) ;)