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nut in my butt.
_____
EIGHT.
Johnny's vision is blurry.
Probably because Hayden is choking the life out of him.
"Hayden, is this what 'headass' means?" Johnny tries to wheeze out, but his words sound like a slurred mumble.
"What?" Hayden says in confusion. "Shut up, I'm trying to strangle you."
"Mkay." He squeaks.
"Hay Hay, stop!" Dylan yells, ripping him away from Johnny.
Johnny takes deep breaths, letting the oxygen flow back into his body. Hayden attempts to lunge at him again before Dylan holds him back from doing so.
"Are you out of your mind?" He snarls. "She doesn't need a mini Johnny running around in her apartment!"
Annie laughs in amusement. "Why did you try to seduce her in the first place?"
Johnny shrugs. "She made me like this, so it was just my natural instinct. But next time, I'm just gonna take her."
"What?" Hayden sits up abruptly. "No! You cannot just take her. That's rape!"
The three of them stare blankly, their last two brain cells struggling to survive.
Hayden slaps a palm against his forehead. "You're like children stuck in a adult's body." He groans. "Come here, all of you. Sit down."
He gathers the three of them, grouping them to sit on the living room floor in front of him. When all three are still and quiet, Hayden starts his lesson.
"Listen up." He begins. "If you want to get laid, you can't force your partner into anything. Not only is it crime, but it also doesn't work."
Dylan scrunches her eyebrows. "What does 'laid' mean?"
"Oh, I know!" Annie raises her hand. "It's slang for 'sex', I heard them say it on Bad Girls Club!"
"Yeah... no more Bad Girls Club for you." Hayden declares.
Johnny presses his lips together. "That's weird. I was watching a breeding program and the female animals didn't ask the males to mate with them. The females were in heat and they just–"
"Stop! That's where you're wrong, kiddo." Hayden sips orange juice. "Humans don't go into 'heat'. It's there choice to mate, not a genetic urge."
"Is that why she's always neglecting me? Then why would she set my sexual rate so high?"
Hayden spews out his orange juice again, this time the droplets landing on Dylan's shirt.
"No! Not my new Versace top!" She whines, staring at her shirt in horror.
"She did what?!" He exclaims, ignoring Dylan. "And she has the nerve to call me a thirsty thot? That hypocrite..."
"What rate did you set Annie and Dylan?" Johnny glances to the two sunshines.
"A four, thank lawd. But I shouldn't have requested them to be so energetic and friendly." He sighs pitifully.
Annie and Dylan shrug nonchalantly. It is what it is.
"Anyways!" Hayden snaps. "You have to play the game, Johnny. Get to know her, charm her, have her chase after you, and tease a little too. Then, you should seduce her."
"Charm? Tease? How do I do that?" He questions.
Ever so slowly, one of Hayden's eyebrows rises up his forehead. A mischievous grin then creeps up his face.
"My dear Jonathan," he chuckles. "Are you asking me to teach you how to seduce a woman? You know I'll have to corrupt you to do that."
Johnny will do whatever it takes. Mackenzie was simply driving him insane. "I'm more than ready. Please help me, Hayden." He begs.
An evil laugh escapes Hayden's lips as he grabs his laptop off the coffee table.
"Dylan and Annie, stay here and watch the Vine compilations I showed you." He orders. "Johnny, come on. I'm gonna teach you how human sex works."
He leads Johnny into his bedroom. He sits him on the bed, places his laptop beside him, and grins.
"Have fun." Hayden says, and hits play.
He then leaves the room, a wicked smile across his face as moans begin to ring out in the room behind him. Hayden turns around to see Johnny's horrified-yet-fascinated face.
"It's called porn." He winks at the innocent soul before locking Johnny inside the room.
