South Park: Decent to Madness

Special Chapter: Doing Time (Chatroom)

www.southparkunsolved.tor.io
Board: ssu/ericcartman

OP: Hey /ericcartman, who can tell me about the times EC went to jail?

7 replies

Privateinvestigator776: hey there anon, I've been looking into the Eric Cartman case for a while now, and I can definitely answer your question. Now, EC has always been a convict, and over the years he has been incarcerated 16 times in total. Usually he wasn't in juivie for very long, he got bailed out or charges were dropped, but the longest time he was ever incarcerated was about 4 months. I believe he was there on hate crime charges, if my memory serves me right he was trying to burn down a jewish temple.

Now, I've heard some strange things about EC from people who work on the inside, like how he used to scratch cryptic messages into the walls with his nails, and go for days on end without saying a single word. But the oddest story I think I've heard was from this time period. Apparently, he was bunked with a younger mexican kid who was there on terrorist threat charges. EC felt threatened by this kid, because he was always trying to show off how much of a criminal he was. Now, people say the thing about this kid was that he hated himself quite a bit, and was extremely insecure. Apparently his records said that he was once put into a mental hospital because of an attempted suicide, but this is not all confirmed. All I know for sure is that one day he turned up dead in his cell, gashes sliced into his arms and throat. Autopsy reports said he died very slowly, from blood loss. The strangest thing was that EC seemed to have no idea about the suicide and didn't even notice it when it was taking place. Now, I'm not saying that EC killed the kid. Because honestly, I don't want to jump to any conclusions. All I know is that he was smiling when he was interrigated about the incident.

Don't ask me how I know this, and don't ask me to reveal my sources.

ECsuperfan666 (replying to Privateinvestigator776): UR A FUCKIN FAKER LIER!!! EC WILL KILL U!!! HE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!!! HAIL EC THE SECOND COMING OF HITLER!!!

Justadudeonthedeepweb (replying to ECsuperfan666): obvious troll is obvious lol

Anonymous (replying to Privateinvestigator776): makes sense to me. ec is a total sicko.

Lolsupercoolguy (replying to Privateinvestigator776): bruh this is such a big lie 😂😂😂 you just copied @ xxxbaDguy's theory and reposted it 😂😂😂 EC did nothing wrong you stupid cunt 😂😂😂

Minecrafter65664 (replying to Privateinvestigator776): that last part makes me really doubt that any of this has any truth to it.

Whothefuckcares (replying to Minecrafter65664): lol you still play minecraft?!

Original Poster (replying to Privateinvestigator776): for some reason, I feel like I've heard this story before...thanks for refreshing my memory, @ Privateinvestigator776.