Nct 2018 imagines

Philophobia (Jeno x Jaemin x Renjun x Haechan)

Philophobia - is the fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia. This affects the quality of life and pushes a person away from comments nt.
Pairing: Jeno x Jaemin x Renjun x Haechan.
Warnings: cussing, boy x boy.
Word count:3,931.
Renjun and Jeno have been dating for over two years now. When they first started dating they were madly in love. They were all over each other. Going on dates almost every day, spending all of their time together. It almost felt like it wasn't real. Everything just seemed way too perfect to be true sometimes. But of course all good things come to an end at some point and that basically happened to Jeno's and Renjun's relationship. Sadly Renjun have been feeling extremely upset and lonely. Something inside of him was eating him alive. He didn't know if he felt like something bad could happen soon or is it just because he has been feeling down lately.

There were so many times where  Renjun felt so alone. Jeno used to adore him so much, but something drastically changed and he didn't quite understand what it was yet. They started hanging out less, Renjun noticed that Jeno hasn't been talking to him as much as he used to. They barely even went on dates or just spend time with each other. That really broke Renjun's heart. He desperately wanted to know what was that he had done for Jeno to be so distant from him. It wasn't a secret that Renjun still loved Jeno a lot, even tho he was acting this cold. He just felt so content with Jeno. It had felt like he had the whole world in his hands, but now it feels like his perfect world is crashing down before his eyes and there is no way he can stop it.

Renjun didn't know why Jeno has been so distant lately. He didn't know that Jeno didn't even love him. He was just faking his feelings all these years. He always stayed with Renjun for entertainment, to occupy his free time, help him with his problematic life. Jeno thought that maybe if he dated Renjun he would make him feel something but unfortunately his heart was as cold as ice and Renjun couldn't melt the barrier that was guarding Jeno's frozen heart. It was simply impossible. Jeno had no feelings. Or at least that's what he had thought for the longest time now until he met Haechan. He felt strangely attracted towards him. He felt something he had never felt before and it was desire, adrenaline pumping through his veins when ever he was with Haechan. And as horrible as it was he had to admit that Haechan was ten times better than Renjun. Haechan was everything that Renjun simply wasn't.

Haechan was wild, he was more rough and confident while Renjun was a shy, soft boy who wanted no harm to the world. That's why Jeno was so strangely attracted to Haechan. With him he felt like he was alive and as happy as he could possibly be. That's why he kept avoiding Renjun, because he was with Haechan. He dedicated himself to Haechan forgetting about his boyfriend. And of course Haechan wasn't stupid, he knew that Jeno had a boyfriend, but he chose to ignore it since he knew that Jeno would choose him instead of Renjun anyways.  Haechan was actually falling In love with Jeno since they have been doing this secret affair for about a month now, but Haechan didn't know that what Jeno was feeling wasn't even love. Jeno thinks that he will never be able to fall in love.

Haechan and Jeno were at a cafe. They were having a small talk while sipping their coffees. They were laughing and having the greatest time. While Renjun felt so suffocated in his room that he decided to go out and get some fresh air. He saw a cafe and decided to get a cup of coffee to clear his head. When he walked in he saw something had never even imagined to see in his nightmares. Jeno and Haechan kissing. He felt like his blood left his body, he felt so numb, he felt like his bones were frozen and insides icy. He felt like crying, but he tried to stop himself from showing his weaknesses. He approached them without saying anything. He just stood there feeling his heart sink into his stomach with every passing second. It felt like time has stopped and he was stuck in this one dammed place.