Song 8 ♪ Losing My Resistance

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The next morning when I woke up there was an envelop that had been slid under our door. I picked it up and saw that it was addressed to me. Since I'd learned that the bathrooms were shared with the entire floor, I'd decided to wake up extra early every morning so that I could do my thing around the least amount of people possible. So I took the note with me and didn't bother Addy by turning a light on to read it.

The bathroom was actually pretty nice, stocked with enough towels and toiletries for an army, rather than the 24 girls that used it every day. There was actually enough privacy if one cared for it, with screens, curtains and a small changing room. I got down to my skivvies quickly and put my stuff away in my locker. I was used to a quick and furtive shower ever since ma and I moved in with the gringo. For some reason I always felt like he was on the lookout and it creeped me the hell out. That habit was serving me well at the boarding school and it would take me only 20 minutes to be clean and dressed again.

I sat on the bench by the lockers and pulled out the note in the envelop. It was from Mother Superior Evangeline. She requested to see me in her office before class.

I looked at the clock hanging from the wall. It was only past 7am. There was still just shy of an hour before breakfast was served, and the first class was at 9. I wondered if it was too early to drop by her office. I went back to my room and opened the door trying to make the least amount of noise. Addy still groaned.

"Sorry," I hissed, tip toeing around to drop my stuff and grab my backpack. She murmured something, followed by a snore.

I shook my head as I left my room. I wouldn't describe myself as a morning person, but Addy definitely couldn't be confused for one. Every morning was a struggle to her and I tried not to add to it.

The headmistress's office was the same one I was interviewed at, so I remembered where to find it. I made my way down to the first floor and veered right until I found the massive wood doors. I knocked on them. To my surprise they opened and the senior-most nun stood in front of me. Her glasses had been hanging from her neck, so she put them on.

"Oh, it's you." She stepped aside. "Come right in."

As I did so I said, "Good morning."

She nodded and returned the greeting. Once she was sitting behind her desk, which I thought made her look like a hobbit, and I'd sat on the guest chair in front of her, was when she went straight to business. "You must be wondering why I called you in."

I clasped my hands together. "Did I do something wrong already?"

"Already?" Somehow that made her crack a smile. "You sound certain that you'll make a mistake."

I shrugged one shoulder. "I'm not used to good things happening to me without some sort of catch."

The Mother Superior leaned forward on her elbows. "And you think there's a catch?"

I regarded her in silence with the feeling that she knew exactly what I meant, and that it was exactly the reason why I sat there.

"The catch is that I have to join the music program, isn't it?"

Her face stretched into a smile that temporarily erased a lot of her wrinkles. "Mr. Burlington told me you didn't look too excited when he announced that."

I sank further into the plush chair. "I'm terrified."


It wasn't complicated. It was stupid and I didn't want to explain it. It cut too close to the heart of the matter, which was that I wasn't good enough.

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