Give Me All Your Hopeless Hearts // Frerard

March 3rd

        "I'm telling you, it was the strangest thing," Jenna says. She dips her brush into the watercolors and glides it over her paper, dispersing the paints. "I don't know how to describe it to you."

        "What did you guys talk about?" Lynn asks. She practices blending the colors in her sketchbook, mixing reds with yellows to create soft oranges. 

        Jenna sways her head side to side. "Well, I was asking him how he was and he was...I can't explain it easily. Um, so you know how Gerard and like Brendon would make self-deprecation jokes?"

        "Yeah," Cody says. He set his ruler down and stops drawing his grid to focus on her. 

        "It's like he's talking in that tone but you're just waiting for the joke part except there is none," she says. "I'd ask him how he is and he's gesture to his condition with like the casts and stuff. And we started talking about when he'll be getting better and he says it'll take a while for him to be able to walk again and that's at best. But he also was saying that like some things may never get better."

        Lynn looks worried. "What did he mean by that? Like was he okay?"

        Jenna pauses, giving an uneven look. "I don't know. I mean, I did ask him but he was very neutral about it and he was like well, I can't feel anything so it's not like I'm upset." 

        "That's really...strange," Cody ends up saying. Jenna nods her head alone in agreement. "Do you know when he'll get out? Is he able to go back to school?"

        "I mean, I don't know about that," she says. "It's going to be a long time though, I can tell you that. And he mentioned you guys too."

        "What'd he say?" Cody asks. 

        "Well, he was talking about art and asking how art was, what the next projects were. Then he mentioned he wanted to see you guys."

        "That's good, I'm relieved he remember us," Lynn says. 

        "Yeah, me too," Jenna says. 

        Lynn glances in my direction but I continue staring at my notebook. I don't know why I took it out or even thought I was going to get work done right now. "What about you, Frank?" she asks. 

        "What about me?" I mumble, not bothering to look up at her.

        "What are you thinking?" Cody asks gently.

        The paper is completely blank since I haven't started my English homework yet but I have until Friday to do it. All I've written was my name and the date in the corner. March 3rd. "I really hate March," I mutter. "I really hate spring. And snow that's still on the ground. And the color white. It's so blank and empty and eerie. I hate hospitals and their white aura." The others look at each other nervously. "And I really hate Gerard."

        "You...Frank, you don't mean that," Jenna tells me. 

        I glance up at her. "He's a jerk," I whisper. 

        "What? How could you say that?" Cody asks. He looks at Jenna but Jenna gives him a look because she knows I'm not wrong. "What happened?"

        "Yeah, what did happen?" Jenna asks. "What did you guys talk about when I left?"

        I sink down in my stool. I really should have stayed home today. "It doesn't matter," I mumble. "He's a jerk and I hate him."

        "What happened exactly?" Cody asks.