random thoughts

just an introduction to the brain of a socially anxious introvert.

 I want to describe what's it like to be a shy, socially anxious introvert. A deadly mix..Because I feel like not many people understand how we work.These people never talk first. They don't talk much. Even with their friends,when they don't get a reply, they instantly judge themselves and they instantly back out, because they don't want to be a burden. Yes, even to their friends. They generally prefer to listen and they get tired when they are around people for too long. They enjoy being alone, but,alone can turn into lonely pretty fast. On the other hand, if they truly feel comfortable around someone, they will open up, but only to a certain extent. Because... unfortunately, it turns out that most people don't really listen. They just wait for their turn to speak so they don't really see the point of sharing anything, because the conversation would be one-sided anyway. They let people in very rarely, but when that wall finally comes down they are totally different than what they seem at first glance. Unfortunately, they usually come off as quiet, rude or uninterested,but that's not who they really are. They wear all the good stuff on the inside and it takes a lot of time to open up to someone. And most times, in the end, they never fully do, because not many people have the patience to fight through the initial apparent coldness.Which is sad, by the way, because socially anxious introverts lead incredibly rich and interesting inner lives and the world is missing out on all that honey,since it's not well-suited for those who bloom slow..