GONE GIRL » Billy Hargrove

0.24 » the past

I took the books up to my room along with Loki and a mug filled with coffee. Already knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep that night (although being insanely tired) I had decided I wouldn't even try.

What I would try however, was finally facing what I was so afraid of.

I sat down on the floor in between the wall and my bed so that I could stare out of the large window, into the dark night.

Loki snuggled up to my side, laying down on the carpet, and I grabbed one of the pillows from my bed, stuffing it behind my back. Putting on the earphones of my walkman I put in one of the mixtapes my cousin had made for me.

I pressed play and, after taking another deep breath, opened up the first diary.

∞

I spent the next few hours skimming over the pages, marking everything that appeared like it could be of importance.
The volume of the music seemed to steadily grow louder all by itself - maybe I wanted to push all the thoughts aside, that came rushing back to me. When I finished the second diary I pushed everything away from me and went downstairs to make myself another coffee.

My head was spinning at the sudden change in ambience - the sudden silence seemed deafening for a few seconds. Then my brain picked up its speed again, with random words and statements whirling around like a tornado.

Maybe I should try and get some sleep, I thought for a second but then shook my head, dreading the dreams that I would have more than anything.

Waiting for my coffee to cool down a bit I paced around the dark living room, staring at the bookshelf for a few minutes, picking my cup back up and sitting down on the floor to stare out of the window. The moon was barely visible, clouds obscuring its presence and leaving the night a lot darker, and I felt my eyelids being pulled downward ever so slowly.

∞

I woke up on the couch, covered in a blanket and Loki walking around the room excitedly. After tossing and turning for a while I eventually sat up and looked around. Cameron must've picked me up from the floor and set me down here.

A quick glance at the clock told me that it was already half past one in the afternoon, and I yawned while dragging my feet upstairs, to shower and get changed.

I spent the next hour forcing myself to work through half of another diary and when it became too much I got up and changed into my running gear.

Putting Loki on his leash I headed into the forest once more, only to turn back around after a while - maybe seeing how Steve was doing would be a good idea right now.

Thus, I jogged along the roads, soon enough arriving at the small cul-de-sac in which the Harringtons home was situated.

As Steve opened the door with a confused look I noticed I hadn't been the only one to sleep in that day. Squinting at the light from outside my best friend motioned for me to come in and tried to somehow arrange his hair - but he soon gave up.

"You okay?" He asked and I shrugged, preparing some coffee for the both of us. Steve, still in his pajamas, sat down at the kitchen table and looked up at me while Loki was inspecting the unfamiliar room.

"Why'd you try and stop Billy?" He then went on, which caused me to shrug yet again. "What was I supposed to do? Cheer him on? Nu-uh, nobody lays a hand on my best friend and gets away unscathed."

Now he chuckled. "But he just hit you in the face as well ...?" - "I tried, okay?!"

We both began laughing and I felt a bit calmer already. My head was still feeling like it could burst any minute though - the smile dropped from my face and I turned back around to continue with the coffee.

"How many of these have you had the last 24 hours?" Steve wanted to know as I handed him his mug, hopping up onto the kitchen counter.

"Three? No, actually, two and a half because I somehow fell asleep during the third one." - "Something only you'd manage to do."

I stuck out my tongue at him; Loki began to make himself comfortable on the floor and Steve threw his head back, laughing.

"I did not think this through." He then said without moving his head back up and I internally face palmed while sliding off the counter. He grinned at me sheepishly as I helped him bring his head back up without breaking his spine. "Thanks."

Patting his shoulder I walked around the table and grabbed my mug, taking a swig of coffee while he leaned against the fridge.

"You know ... how come we two never dated?" Steve asked out of the blue and I raised an eyebrow.
"Did you forget you'd been crushing on Nancy already when I first came here?" - "Did not but like ... why'd I never get the idea to try and make her jealous or something like that?"

He stood there, looking at me expectantly, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I don't think that's the kind of person you are. I think if you love someone it's all or nothing. Besides I'm a pain in the ass to cope with." I replied, adding the last bit to try and joke around a bit. But Steve only shook his head.

"That's bull, okay. Also, hello? I love you and will always enjoy spending time with you? Didn't we, like, officially declare ourselves best friends before all this went to shit?" - "Steve. We were drunk and sitting on the roof of the shed in the backyard. You literally yelled that at your moms apple tree." - "See? True friendship!"

With that he grinned again, pulling me into a hug and I felt a smile creep up on me as well.

"Hey Steve?" I asked, voice muffled due to his t-shirt. "Yeah?" - "You watched cheesy movies last night and cried about them, didn't you?" - "... Maybe." - "Feel any better?"

Letting me go again he placed a hand on my head and smiled. "A little."

With a satisfied hum I smiled back at him when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." He said and jogged off; I sat back down on the kitchen counter, holding the coffee mug in between my hands, when Steve came back, Dustin trailing behind him.

"Oh hey Dustin!" I called out and the boy gave me a wave, before turning back to Steve and rambling on about what Eleven had told them about the gate.

"Also, Hopper was super tired and pissed off about some guy they have locked up? Know anything about that?" The boy asked and I jumped slightly at the mention of my father.

Steve looked over at me, which caused Dustin to do so as well. Now the boy was curiously staring at me and I felt the blood rush into my head.

"I only heard he's some dangerous stalker who followed someone all the way over here." I mumbled and Dustin seemed happy with that information.

Loki came up to me, barking two times and I understood, grabbing his leash.

"I'll head on back home then." - "Alright, be careful." Steve said as he hugged me and Dustin held up his hand for me to high five him.

When I left the house the sun had come out a little and after a few minutes I fell back into my comfortable running pace, leaving the cul-de-sac behind.

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A/N: hey guys! sorry for taking so long to update😅
anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, and again, thank you all so much for reading and commenting!❤
when I started uploading this I was pretty much following my new years resolution of just putting something out there and that people actually seem to like it makes me super happy💕