Seekers

Daily Life of Fitting in a Box

I woke up to find that I had been lying on top of my skateboard once again. I looked around, trying to remember what had happened the previous night. Stretching out my arms and body, I could only think of running through the forest--and how priceless the experience had been.

"Honey, are you doing ok?" my mother asked as she walked into the house.

"Yeah, fine," I said. I ate my scrambled eggs without a single thought entering into my head. She looked like there was something else that she wanted to say, but I just kept on forking my food and eating. 

"There'll be a neighborhood food picnic today," my mother finally said as she was putting away pots and pans in the covert. "Dad and I are thinking about going. It is something to look forward to." She started running the faucet to wash dishes. The clanging of the dishes rang in my ears.

                                                                                              ***

"Oh, so where are you from?" asked a woman that looked like somebody that was more of from the upper class. She had a white-leather hat and wore high-heels that caused me to wonder how could anyone be comfortable in those. I mean, nothing against high-heels, but was she trying super-duper hard to dress-up or something?

Fuck off, I thought. It felt really good to cuss; too bad I could only say that in my head. Mom said I needed to be "polite" to the adults. Whine, whine, whine, that's all you do, Rebecca!

"I come from Southern Wales, or at least that is the last place I have been. I wish I was back there," I said, spitting food between my teeth. The rest of the gathering droned on as usual. I mostly sat there, waiting as the adults continued talking. The white-leathered hat lady seemed rather turned off by my talk. My eyes kept focusing into the trees, waiting for another opportunity to go in.

                                                                                     ***

"Hello?" I called out in the midst of the forest--there literally was mist floating in the air, which blurred my eyes. As far as I was concerned this was where I had last seen the exorcist. Owls cooed on top of the trees. The bark looked as if it had been burnt off in a wildfire. A little body began to come out.

"Good evening," she said in a rather quiet voice. This time her hair was  tied back in braids. 

"Hey," I replied. She rolled  half-eaten pear to me on the ground.

"A pear? Is this what you do to--"

"Eat it," she demanded, and that was exactly what I did--my teeth sank into the part already bitten. "You must eat of the fruit in order to become an exorcist."

"Is that like from the Bible or something?" I asked, thinking about the woman that ate from the fruit. The exorcist looked at me as if she did not know what I was talking about.

"No, it is a mere ritual you must perform in order to become an exorcist," she said.

                                                                     ***

She took me over to the side of the hut, it was still smoking with purple smoke. She sat down on the carpet at the side of the hut. From the surrounding darkness, I almost felt as if she blended in with the rest of her surroundings.

"We must focus on our internal states of being in order to communicate with the higher states of above," she said. I remembered how something similar happened in the process of astral projection.

"I kind of wish I could talk to you more personally," I said, but the girl was fast asleep, almost appearing like she had created an empty shell of herself.

"I just wanted to introduce myself as Rebecca," I said. Still the girl seemed like she was in a deep state of thinking. Her head was bowed, and her hands were on her knees like a buddhist munk. I emulated her stance, feeling my way through the exercise. I did not know what I was looking for or what I was even doing, but I decided perhaps even in the solitude, we interacted.

                                                                      ***

"So climate change is a very serious and upmost dangerous assault that is happening on our planet," my earth science teacher said. I couldn't take it anymore; my face slumped on top of the desk; saliva drooled on top.

I heard a little tap on my shoulder. A piece of paper landed on top of my lap.

                                                                        ***

"Are you doing ok?" my friend Jan-Marie asked. It was lunch period.

"Yeah, I'm fine; I am still adjusting to the new environment," I said. Jan-Marie was my only friend in the entirety of the school. Students chatted among themselves. It was just Jan-Marie and I sitting with one another for awhile. 

"Quite a sleeper in class you were!" I turned around to see Pierce smiling over me. He towered over me.

"At least I don't make a big deal out of other people's shit like you do," I said, my voice very slick and smooth. The lunch room descended into silence.

"Maybe you should be careful what comes out of that mouth of yours!" I continued. I was expecting him to make a retort, but instead he sneered at me.

"I'd like to see if your fucking mouth is as sharp as your muscles," he said. 

"Fine! I will meet you at the front of the school!" I said.

                                                                          ***

"Come on out, princess!" Pierce yelled. There were people gathered around. I hardly knew anyone at the school, so I couldn't tell. All that I really knew was that I had just put myself in so much trouble. I sighed. Well, it is now or never! I jumped out of the bushes and released a karate kick in the stomach. Pierce had some wind knocked out of him. Soon the two of us were wrestling like bears. Honestly I had never had any formal training in martial arts.

"God, girl, you smell like shit!" screamed Pierce as I charged into him. It was true that I had been skipping showers over the past several days. Pain welling inside myself burst my heart open and charged into energy as I delivered my blows.

                                                                             ***

I walked into the house. The energy that I once had for the fight had practically left me. My head sank as I saw the figure standing in front of me. It was a misty day outside. Stratus clouds began to form outside. My black eye started throbbing as he approached me.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I lost control," I replied. He stepped closer and tried to put a hand on me. I knew that he was trying to show a gesture of love, but I cringed backwards.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?" he asked. I pointed up to my eye--as if he was stating the obvious. "Nowhere else," I added. He nodded. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean.

                                                                    ***

"Mark, we really need to resolve the conflict that our daughter is suffering from!"

"Alright, Carol, I am trying to figure it out, but the military has kept me rather busy with my duties!"

As my parents argued, a sense of pride entered into me as I reflected on the fight that occurred today. I felt proud that I had stood my ground and managed my own without anyone having to rescue me out of trouble.