As I promised in my 'Various Characters x Male Reader' book here is my knowledge and understanding of asexuality. I'm not claiming to be an expert as no one can really be but asexuality is one of the least talked about and understood sexualities. I identify as on the asexuality spectrum so I'm more knowledgeable than most not to mention the insane number of articles I've read coming to that conclusion.
The first thing you should know is that asexuality is not that simple, there are actually two parts to asexuality.
Asexual is a sexuality AND a spectrum/umbrella term.
The most basic definition of asexuality is someone does not feel sexual attraction (Yeah, take that in. Half my friends think that's fake).
A more accurate definition would be someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction and a varying amount of romantic attraction (But see that's confusing, so people ignore that and only remember the first one).
Below is a picture of a SIMPLIFIED spectrum. You have your sexuals on the left, that's pretty well every sexuality you've ever heard of I'm talking your Hetros, Gays, Lesbians, Pans, Polys, Bis etc. these are all the people that experience sexual attraction. In the centre, you have your Grey-A's short for Grey Asexuals and your Demisexuals (Not to be confused with demigirls and demiboys)- Grey-A's are people who identify somewhere between asexual and sexual, it could be someone who sometimes feels sexual attraction, has a certain contact they enjoy (think kinks), experiences infrequently, or some other personal standard that doesn't fit their definition of asexuality. Demisexuals only experience sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond is formed aka only sometimes and then with friends, they've gotta work their way out of the friend zone every time if they want a relationship.
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The second part here is romantic attraction. This is your desire to be in a relationship with someone.
An important part to realise here that sends most people into disbelief is that love does not equal sex.
A radical concept I know.
There are six main types of romantic attraction that are easy to remember as I've mentioned them earlier, Heteroromantic, Homoromantic, Biromantic, Panromantic, Polyromantic and another called aromantic (definitions in media below) which may sound familiar. Those are all the suffixes to all the 'normal' sexualities just instead of sexual at the end its romantic.
EVERYONE falls somewhere on this spectrum and identifies on it, just nobody seems to know that.
For example, if you are a gay man who has an interest in dating men you are a Homoromantic Homosexual. But we put sex over love here and just say you're a Homosexual.
Asexuals, Demisexuals and Grey-A's have it a little bit harder, we don't match up. Currently, I would identify as a Panromantic Asexual as have no preference on gender when it comes to relationships but have a desire to keep my pants on.
Now, quick thing here- notice I said keep my pants on and identified as asexual, I could have said I feel no sexual attraction but I purposely didn't. Sexual attraction is not something that can really be easily defined as there's a grey area in there, I'm okay with kissing and actually like it- its a nice sign of affection that makes me feel loved and is pleasant. I don't classify kissing as a sexual act as I have no intent to go further than that when I'm kissing someone, but some would. Asexuality is not clearly defined as I'm sure you're beginning to realise. Some people would argue that because of this I'm a Panromantic Grey-A but I choose to identify as asexual as I believe it is more accurate to me.
The diagram thingy below is my favourite resource for explaining this concept of romantic and sexual attraction and spectrums.
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Now like I said everyone is different and has their own definition of asexuality, I love writing any asexual characters as their so obscure and I want more representation dammit! I hope this helped you understand a bit more and was interesting. I think I did a pretty good job but comment if you have any questions and I will try my best to answer them. I don't care if you're seeing this three years after this was posted I WILL answer your questions.
