Daron's Guitar Chronicles Volume 12

955 In Your Eyes

In Your Eyes

I don't have too many illusions about being a "good son." I mean, I am pretty sure I am not one. That doesn't mean I'm not a good person–that's a whole different discussion. When you talk son or daughter, though, you're talking about a very specific thing, and that's how you relate to your parents. It's really about what your parents think of you as you relate to them. Isn't it?

But of course your two (or more, I don't judge) parents may not agree on either what makes a good son or whether you meet the criteria.

I wish I knew why it mattered to me.

Claire fell asleep in the car on the way back from the mall. When your body's fighting something it's better to be asleep than awake, right? She was disoriented when we got back to the house, and Remo had to sort of steer her down the driveway and up to the door, one arm around her shoulders and one hand on her arm.

I think he would have carried her if he could. I think she would have liked that.

I'm not sure she really knew where (or when?) she was.

Back at our hotel, after we'd brushed our teeth, while Ziggy massaged his nightly cream into his face with tiny circles of his fingers, I sat on the toilet lid and said, "Do you really think Remo's being ridiculous?"

Ziggy didn't bat a literal eyelash. "I think you think Remo's being ridiculous. What made you think I thought that?"

"Your whole thing of this would be like if I went to take care of Roger when he was dying. That thing."

"Well, maybe it's not a direct analogy. For one thing you and Roger were never in love." He glanced my way as if looking for confirmation.

"God, no. Not even close. I'm not even sure we ever really liked each other."

"Yet you were in a band together."

"Yeah, well." I shrugged. "It's funny. Bart used to harangue me about how we should take out a classified ad looking for a new singer and I was like 'no.'"

"Why were you against it?"

"I even said something like you wouldn't want to meet your future wife through a newspaper ad, would you? Someone you are going to spend a lot of time with and be intimate with? And he was like well, just going with the people we know isn't working. But what I couldn't figure out how to say then was that things not working out with Roger was how I knew I had to find someone I was compatible with. And I didn't think the classified ads was the way to do that."

He paused in his face-treatment to look at me. "And then I jumped out of the crowd in the park one day."

"Mm-hmm." I leaned my elbow on the edge of the counter around the sink and put my face against my fist. "Jonathan called it love at first sight."

"And what do you call it?"

"'Love' is a pretty big word–"

I saw him start to stiffen, to armor himself. I don't think I would have noticed something like that before. Was it that Ziggy tried harder to hide it before or that I knew him so much better now? Then I finished my sentence.

"–so I guess maybe it's big enough to encompass all of the everything I feel for you."

He broke out in a smile. "You're writing corny song lyrics even when you aren't trying."

That made me smile. "Yeah, well."

"Going to go write it down?"

"No. I'm going to sit here and stare at you while you stare at yourself. We may as well both enjoy it."