Something I need to tell you

She has to know

Steven woke up with a chill running down his spine. He had a dream about something he's been thinking about for months, he didn't know how to react. It was about Connie, Steven told Connie something only his dad and the crystal gems know about and Connie took it bad.
Steven dreamt that Connie would stop talking to him, he knew she thought he was weird, a disease.
Steven brushed it off like he usually did getting dreams or thoughts about telling Connie he's trans even though, one day he has to tell her, Especially if he wants his romantic interest on her to blossom.
The now anxious boy got up and did his daily routine of changing, slipping on his binder and brushing his teeth.
Making his way downstairs to go brush his teeth then eat breakfast one of the temple doors open.
Steven remembers this distinct smell of rotten oatmeal and burnt tires
-Yep it's amethyst-
He thinks to himself as he enters the bathroom "hey Amethyst, did you sleep well?"
he says shyly as Amethyst raids the fridge, Amethyst doesn't seem to notice the strained happiness from Steven's voice as she just replies with "ya." And makes her way back to her room with a pile of trash that used to be perfectly good food but turned into a giant cluster fuck of tastes.
Steven just sighs and spits out the residue of his tooth paste, for a moment he just stares blankly into the mirror.
he doesn't know what to think about himself, he isn't happy about who he sees but he tries so he thinks that's enough.
And then it hit him, like a giant boulder smacked right into his chest. He doesn't know why he's randomly thinking about Connie, usually when he did he felt good but it feels sickening, like Steven did something terrible to her.
-maybe if I eat something I'd feel better?-
Steven finally looks away from the mirror and pauses and the exit of the bathroom to take a brief pause and sigh. Steven walks to the fridge with wobbly legs and shaky hands and elbows weighing 100 pounds.
When He opens the fridge his heart only aches more and his chest tightened
"Ugh Amethyst did you have to take all the food??"
The frustrated boy slams the fridge door gently, not enough to break the fridge but just enough to cause a scene.
Steven feels a little better but then the feeling fades as a symphony of lights flash from the temple and Pearl emerges from her room.
"Steven? Is everything alright I heard a noise"
Steven rolls his eyes without Pearl noticing
"Oh hah yeah I guess I accidentally closed the fridge too hard!" Steven scratches the back of his neck and stretches his half genuine smile.
Pearl looks at Steven with concern,
But then just pats the top of his head.
"Well alright then! Garnet, Amethyst, And I will be going on a mission so why don't you go play with your human friends?"
Steven pushes away Pearls hand and gives her puppy dog eyes.
"What? Why can't I come along?"
Steven didn't even try to hide the whine in his voice, he was already under a lot but now not even being able to go on this mission?
Pearl took note of how distressed Steven's voice was and brought herself down to his level.
"I'm sorry Steven, but the gem we're hunting eats all organic matter and because you're half human we don't want to risk anything"
Pearl's eye looked like, well, pearls, shiny and dull but perfect and smooth. Steven always loves to look in her eyes, they soothed him for some strange reason.
"Oh is that why Amethyst took everything out of the fridge?"
Steven said with hunger dripping in his throat, Steven opened the fridge to show Pearl the vast emptiness of the fridge and Pearl's eyes widened.
"Oh dear, I'm sorry Steven I guess Amethyst can't do a simple task of retrieving small amounts of food, ugh, listen there is money under the couch cushions right? Why don't you go to the large annulated bread?" Pearl stands back up and walks over to the warp pad where Garnet transpired from her door, heat waves flash from where the door closed and opened and Amethyst slips out of her room with the pile of disgusting food and odors escaping her room until it closes. The three Crystal Gems stand on the warp pad and the flashes of light coat over every spec in the a room and dapple over Steven's eyes in a brilliant way, "wait no I can still go I'll be okay." Steven rushes over to them and tries to convince them to let him go.
"I'm sorry Steven it's just too dangerous"
Pearl chirps out in a pleasing way but still stern
"But I ca-"
Steven is cut off by Garnet
"Steven, go talk to Connie"
The warp flashes brighter and Amethyst snorts
"Yeah, go talk to your
girllllffffrrrriieeeeenndddddddddd~"
Amethyst's voice gets dragged in air as they warp away and Steven's throat closes and his head feels heavy and light, it hurts but it's hollow and his eyes feel like he might cry.
"Okay, I'll- I'll tell her today"
Steven's eyes water at the thought of talking to her but he knows she has the right to know.