fourtytwo

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It comes at night when I'm asleep.
I hear it breathing next to me like a slow steady feeling.
It doesn't scare me.
I know what it is...

The other me, the me on the other side.
The cooler me.
The better me.
The me without the sadness and sorrow.

The other me is happy and carefree
I'm the opposite.
The other me doesn't have to deal with problems.
I do.

I want to be like the other me.
I'm jealous of her, why can't I be like that?
I need to be truly happy.
Depression has taken its tole.

Alone as usual.
Nothings special to stand out.
Just long walks, trying to understand why.
The other me is jumping for joy.
I'm sobbing.

How? I ask the other me constantly.
It says, "I'm just like you!"
"No," I tell it, rolling my eyes, "You don't deal with what I do."
"Didn't I say I'm you!" The other me yells.

"I'm dealing with it too, I'm just happier about it than you."

I paused and kept walking after thinking about what the other me said.
Happier?
I guess life could be worse but it's already too much now.
I turned to the other me.

"Teach me to be like you." I say, proudly.
"You want to be happy?" The other me asked.
"Yes." I reply.
The other me smiled.

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