WHO YOU? || BAE JINYOUNG

Part 14: Furtive

|| Furtive

       ||||  secret and sly or sordid

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I hold Jinyoung's hand while sitting next to his bed as I brought him home to get a better treatment by his own doctor. The heart rate machine beeps normally but why it takes such a long time for him to awake. It has been 2 hours he still lying on the bed.

".. Erin." I heard Daniel calls my name, walking towards Jinyoung's bed. "No need to worry much. He is already fine. We just need to wait for him to wake up. And... Thank you for saving him." He continues.

"Daniel... I feel sorry for him a lot. I don't even know he also feels hurt like how we always do. I only think that his cold appearance is like how his heart is. But.. It's really the opposite. What have I done?" I cry on Jinyoung's hand.

Daniel pats my back, trying to calm me down. "Erin.. I'll replace you to take care of him. I think you better have a rest. You look so pale and tired." He said.

I try to stay next to Jinyoung but I feel that Daniel knows how to take care of him better than me as he stays with Jinyoung for a long time compared to me. I give the seat to Daniel and leave the huge bedroom.

I lean on the wall, still crying when reminiscing about the incident before. What a bad person I am?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

8 PM. I reenter Jinyoung's room to see his condition but he is still lying down on the bed without any movement. Butler Kang sleeps on the chair, tired maybe.

"Daniel.. You better get some rest now. I don't want to burden you. It has been a few hours.. I will be by his side." I tell him as I feel pity for him.

".. Kyung.." It's Jinyoung voice.

I quickly take his hand, holding it with full of hope. "Jinyoung.. I'm here. I'm very sorry for my doings this morning. I'm glad that you're fine." I caress his face as he starts to open his eyes.

"Cutie Kyung.. Where am I? Why do I feel so sick?"

I paused when I heard the first two words. It's already night and I forgot that Jinyoung will change to Baejin when it's past six o'clock.

"Baejin.. It's nothing. I'm just so happy to see you today." I lie while hiding the lump of sadness in my heart when Baejin was the one who wakes up instead of Jinyoung.

"Daniel hyung.. Why you look so untidy today? Your hair and clothes.." Baejin comments on Butler Kang's miserable appearance due to the incidents before.

"Ah.. I just have some works before. It's too tiring, that's why I look like this." Butler Kang fakes his smile. I could sense it.

"Cutie Kyung.. Am I sick? What's with the IV fluid and this heart rate machine?" Baejin takes the wiring out from his body without even waiting for my answers.

I bite my lip, looking at him with such a busy mind thinking about what should I explain to him. I take a deep breath and hug him. "Nothing~ I have said before. You just feel so weak just now. I'm worried about you a lot.." I pat his back softly.

"I should help the maids now.." Butler Kang said before leaving the room.

"Daniel..." I call him but he already left Baejin and I in the room by ourselves.

I sigh, showing a fake smile at Baejin in a blink as I don't want him to worry about me. He suddenly caresses my hair softly. ".. Kyung, are you worried about something? You're smiling at me with a sad feeling inside. Am I right?" He asks me.

"No.. I just feel tired today. Urm, how about you rest more now? You must recover well if you want to play with me." I answer him in a lie.

"You will play with me? Really? I can't wait for it. I will have enough rest and call you when I wake up." He sounds excited.

"I want to go help Butler Kang for a while. Rest well, Baejin." I wave a goodbye at him, opening the door stepping out from the room with a mixed feeling.

I run to the washroom, turning the tap until the water flows like there is no tomorrow. My tears come out from my eyes all of sudden. "Why must you wish for that stupid thing to happen?! And now it happens in front of you!" I cried in despair.

A few knocks from the door startled me, making me shedding my tears and standing in front of the door with curiosity. ".. Erin.. Are you crying inside? Tell me what's wrong." Butler Kang asks behind the door, trying to open the door but I hold the knob to stop it from turning.

"Don't come in.. I want to be alone now. Mianhae.." I said before locking the door.

"If that will please you.. I will let you be alone." He quiets right after saying that last words.

I lean on the door, cannot stop my tears from flowing again. "Why can't I be grateful when Jinyoung is already with me?! Why do I want him to be someone else?! Look at what I have done... I'm a killer. I kill Jinyoung with my stupid actions." I wept.

".. You are not, Erin. He will wake up soon on tomorrow morning." I choked on my own throat when I heard Butler Kang replies me back from behind the door.

He is still there.

I unlock the door, getting out from the washroom that already full with my cries and screams. I throw myself into Butler Kang's body, snuggling on his chests. I lock my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. I don't care how bad my face is after crying out hard but I need him to help me.

"Let me be in your embrace for a long time.. I need you." I sob.

"I won't let you go. I also need you in my life.."

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