Reckless Entitlement

Chapter 31: Maya

"Ah!" I exclaimed, the hot ginger tea burned my tongue. Lavender had made the tea for me shortly after dinner saying it would help with my stomach ache. It was sweet and a little spicy from the ginger, but overall, it wasn't bad.

"Don't drink it too fast, you'll burn yourself," Lavender warned me a minute too late.

"I think I've figured that out," I said setting my cherry printed mug on my coffee table.

The girls sat on the floor around one of the board games that Nia had brought in their pajamas. I had decided to sit this one out, I wasn't in the mood to play any games.

I appreciated them coming over, but I still wasn't feeling my best. Tasha brought the ingredients to make tacos and she cooked for us. Did she clean up after she made them? No.

Did I rush to clean up after her? No.

Usually, I would have, but tonight I didn't feel like cleaning anything. I actually didn't feel like doing anything. Even sitting on the couch seemed to take too much energy. I wrapped myself in a blanket and watched them play.

I still hadn't told them what happened between Nick and I. The more I thought about my reaction the dumber I felt. But these were my best friends, they would understand, right?

"Nick told me he loved me," I blurted out. There was no going back now.

"What?" Tasha asked, dropping her playing cards on the table. "You let us sit here and play card games while you were sitting on this bomb the whole time?"

She immediately moved to sit next to me on the couch. Lavender and Nia remained seated on the floor, but they moved closer to where Tasha and I were.

"When did this happen?" Lavender asked, just as shocked.

"Yesterday," I replied.

"Well, did you say it back?" Tasha asked impatient.

"Uh..."I hesitated, "I yelled at him and told him to leave."

God, I am so embarrassed. I closed my eyes as I waited for their reactions. It was utter silence.

"Have you talked to him since?" Nia asked sitting in front of me on the couch.

"No, I'm too embarrassed," I admitted, opening my eyes. "I feel like such an idiot."

"Because you are an idiot," Tasha said bluntly.

"Tasha!" Nia reprimanded her. "Don't call her that!"

"What? That's what she would say to us. Look, Maya, I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything, but it's obvious that you're in love with him. He's the only guy you let get within five feet of you without ripping his head off, and not to mention you adopted a cat with this guy. He's always around, he sleeps here for crying out loud, so why can't you tell him you love him?"

Feeling overwhelmed and utterly dumb, my bottom lip began to tremble and it felt like my throat was closing up.

"I don't know," I sobbed. "I don't know why I couldn't tell him."

I started crying uncontrollably.

Speechless, they looked at me like I'd grown a second head, Lavender looked like she was going to be sick.

Nia grabbed my hand trying to comfort me. "Oh my God, Tasha you made her cry."

"I didn't mean to," Tasha replied, freaking out. "I was just trying to do the tough love thing that she always does."

"You know she doesn't do it on purpose." Nia moved to sit next to me on the couch. Placing her arm around me forcing me to lay my head on her shoulder. I usually would have protested, but I could use the comfort. And Charlie was too busy hiding in a closet somewhere to give it to me.

"How was I supposed to know she was going to cry? She never cries about anything. Remember when we watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, I don't think she shed one tear."

Oh my God, I am an emotionless monster. I cried, "I do love him, but I couldn't even get the words out. I just started freaking out, and telling him to stop saying it. I told him I might not ever say it back to him. He probably hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you," said Lavender, this was the first time she'd talked since I started crying.

"You didn't see his face," I said wiping the tears that dripped down my face, but more just overflowed. "He looked so heartbroken. And I haven't talked to him all day, I don't even know what he's thinking now. Maybe it's for the best, maybe he'll find someone better."

Tasha scoffed, "Oh, shut up! There's no one that he could find that would be better for him than you. I've never seen two people more perfect for each other than you two. You just need to talk to him."

"I don't--I don't even know what I would say," I hiccuped.

"You don't need to figure it out right now," Nia said encouragingly. "Rest first, then decide. I'm sure you'll tell him you love him when you're ready."

"You think he'll want to talk to me?"

"If he loves you as much as he says he does," said Lavender.

I sighed, "Okay, I'll call him tomorrow. I just hope I haven't scared him off." Hopefully our conversation didn't turn me into a sobbing mess like this had, that might be worse than him breaking up with me.

Actually, no it wouldn't.

Lavender handed me a tissue, so I could wipe the tears from my face. I was still taking shaky breaths, but the tears had stopped.

Tasha let out a long breath. "I'm glad we're done with this crying mess. You were stressing a bitch out."

Nia narrowed her eyes at her. "You were the one that made her cry."

"Like I said, Nia, I didn't mean too," she swept the hair out of her face. "I think we all need a drink after that." She poked me in my side, "You, especially."

"I don't have any alcohol," I told her.

"You may not," she said reaching into her bag she pulled out a bottle of peach flavored vodka. "But I do."

"Where did you get that?" Nia asked, staring at the large glass bottle.

"From Trey, it's for when he 'entertains.'" Of course it is. But I didn't want to think about Trey or his guests. I didn't want to think about anything actually.

I held my hand out for the bottle. "Hand it over." I unscrewed the metal cap and took a swig from the bottle, it burned all the way down but left a peachy after taste. Not the best thing I'd ever had but it would do the trick for now.

Check out my other stories: Cole & Jamie, East Chapel Academy, and Camp Greenwood