The Deal

Chapter Nine - Forelsket

Forelsket (Norwegian): The euphoria you experience when you're first falling in love.

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And then, I wasn't on the ferris wheel with Brendon. I felt the cold, wood planks of my living room floor. I was eleven years old again, tears streaming down my cheeks as I hugged my knees to my chest. I recognized the furious face of my older brother, Kaleb.

He had tears in his eyes, a vein popping out of his forehead, as he lashed out at Mom and Dad.  Violent shouts fill my ears, as my parents yell back at him. I shot my eyes open. I felt the cool summer breeze against my skin, and I saw the view of the orchid sunset. I was back on the ferris wheel again.

Most importantly, I felt a hand on mine, as I gripped the metal bar of the seat.

"Elena. I'm sorry. You're pale, are you okay? God, look, I shouldn't have asked." Brendon stared at me with eyes full of concern. I snapped back, pulling my hand away.

"No. It's okay. I can tell you what happened." I stated firmly, as I surprised myself at how steady my voice sounded.

"Elena, it's fine. It was a dumb thing to ask."

I shook my head. "No, I want to talk about it. Please."

He hesitated. The worry in his eyes eased, as he nodded. I took a deep breath.

"When I was eight, and Kaleb was thirteen, he brought me here for the first time. We ended up having so much fun together. Every year after that, it was a tradition to come here. We were so close. I didn't have many friends, but Kaleb was there. Most of the time, my parents had to work late night shifts. My brother was the one who took care of me and Mari all the time. But then, everything changed." I averted eye contact with Brendon.

I took a minute to calm myself down, before continuing.

"W-When I was twelve, and he was seventeen, he got involved in drugs, and after that, he was never the same person. Kaleb was angry and sad all the time, and he would lash out on my parents. It was almost as if he had no emotion left in him. They would argue all the time, and I didn't know what to do. On my thirteenth birthday, he wasn't there with me to celebrate, and I was crushed. I remember the next day, he asked to take me to the carnival again, but I refused. I was so angry and cold, I never wanted to go anywhere with him again. I was too stubborn to talk to him, so I ignored him for days.

"But then one night, he and my parents got into this huge fight. And then my whole world came crashing down. Kaleb left. By this time, he wasn't a minor anymore. Nothing could really be done. For the next week, all I did was sit by the front door, constantly waiting for him to come home. He never did. I don't think I'll ever get over the broken, disappointed emotion, when I never saw him again." I frowned.

"I know he's out there, he took a large sum of money before leaving, so he's definitely well off. I've tried everything. Calling, texting, email... Literally everything. I never got a response. He never contacted us again, and I don't know if he's dead or alive." 

Brendon looked at me with furrowed brows, eyes filled with empathy and sadness. "Oh my god, Elena. I'm so sorry."

I shut my eyes. My stomach lurched, it felt like someone had tied my intestines into a huge, tight knot. Brendon extended a hand, reaching for mine, until he stopped. His arm fell back in his lap.

"Sometimes I still think that he might come home one day, but.. I don't know. Our family was never the same, after that. Mari was too young to remember much of him though." I shrugged.

The ferris wheel began to move again, as we slowly descended back down.

"I don't know what to say, that's.. It's just so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. Hey, listen, you can always talk to me if you need it." He assured.