Being a Payne.

Chapter 16

-------A few days later-------

Zayns P.O.V

I sat with Niall and Harry in Nialls apartment. I wasn't talking much because the tension between me and Harry was still awkward. 

"I feel like nandos today." Niall annouced. 

"You feel like nandos everyday." Harry laughed. 

"Do you wanna go?" Niall asked and Harry shook his head.

"Nah i can't, i gotta make sure Holly's ok before i do anything." Harry glanced at me waiting for a response that he didn't get from me. 

"Oh yeah, alright, Zayn, you wanna come?" Niall looked over at me. 

"No, i haven't really been hungry." 

"Really? Why's that Zayn?" Harry looked up at me and leaned back in his chair. 

"Liam hates me." 

"He doesn't hate you, he'll forgive you soon. The person you should be worried about is Holly. Do you even understand how much you hurt her? She hasn't been out of my apartment since. You haven't even talked to her." He argued.

"She'll be fine. It was a fling and it's over." I said, not wanting to talk about it.

"But you still like her." '

"No. I never really did, just thought she was hot."

"We're your friends, the people you can 'literally talk to about anything' so why are you lying to us. Just pour your heart out." Niall joined the conversation. 

"Yeah, so then Harry can go back to his best friend Holly and tell her everything." I put my feet up on the sofa. 

"Is that what you actually think? I thought you knew me well enough to know i'm not like that, i would never tell you what Holly said and i would never tell Holly what you say. If you want me to leave i will but you can trust me, we're still brothers." Harry smiled at me and i felt guilty for what i'd said.

"Nah don't leave, i didn't mean it." I smiled at him apologetically. "I don't wanna sound like a girl but my emotions are completely messed up right now." 

"It's fine mate, tell us." Niall laughed and it felt good knowing i could talk to my best friends about this. 

"I like her, a lot. So much more than i've ever liked a girl and i know it sounds really stupid because it hasn't been long at all but i think i love her. I care about her so much, i'd do anything for her. She makes me so happy, you have no idea." I smiled thinking about her.

"But if you love her, how can you hurt her like this?" Niall questioned. 

"That's where my emotions get mixed up. I want to see her so badly and i have to stop myself from texting her all the time. I pretend i don't care because i wish i didn't care because it hurts me to see her hurt. I was friends with Liam way before i liked her so i have to respect the fact that he's not ok with it. I don't want to lose either of them and it's so confusing."

"Just go see her, talk about it." Harry told me.

"No because i know i'll change my mind when i see her. I have to stick to my decision, for Liam. You probably don't understand my logic at all." I laughed, embarrassed.

"No, i do get it and it's great what you're doing for Liam. I just feel bad for her, she's a good girl ya know?" Harry smiled.

"Yeah, i know but she'll find someone better than i can ever be." I admitted and Niall punched my arm.