You're All I Need (Complete)

Chapter 19~ Go Away

Hayden's POV

I couldn't understand anything that Amy had said.

Railin doesn't love me. We're just friends, right? He just cares about me that's all. Besides he loves Makayla. He always has & he always will. Amy is wrong. He doesn't love me. She is crazy.

Then why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like I'm lying to myself? That I've just never opened my eyes & seen how amazing he is. But he is my best friend & I'm with Darin.

I should just leave. I have to go & figure this out.

We're still sitting at lunch, & no one has said anything since Amy left. I get up and throw away my tray. I make it to the door before Railin notices I'm leaving. He gets up and runs after me.

No, no, no. This can't be happening.

I run to my car, & start it. I just as I'm about to pull away Railin gets in the car with me. He is breathing fast. I don't know if it's from running or that he is scared. He looks over at me while I just stare out the window.

I have to go before he says something.

I reach over to the door handle, but he grabs my hand and stops me. I try to pull away, but he holds me there. Finally I turn to look at him. His face is red, his eyes dark, he looks upset or angry. I don't know what he is thinking. I try to get away again, but his grip on my hand tightens.

"Stop. Let me explain Hayden. Please let me talk to you. You just can't run from this. Not this time." He says.

His eyes drag me to him, & I want to listen. He just has that affect on everyone. His eyes are magnetic. They can convince you to do anything, just like Darin's.

I nod. "Oh, ok Railin. Tell me. Please tell me what the hell Amy was talking about because I don't understand." I say.

He sighs and shrugs. "I just never thought it would get out like this. I thought if I kept it to myself no body would notice. More importantly you & Darin wouldn't notice." He says.

He looks away from me & his cheeks get red. "I never thought that it showed. I thought I kept it hidden, but everyone knew." He says.

I shake my head. "Not everyone knew. I didn't & Darin doesn't either." I say.

After a few moments I speak again. "Railin are you saying what I think you're saying?" I ask.

His cheeks flush again. "I guess I am Hayden. I'm saying exactly what you think I am, & what Amy said." He says.

No. He can't. It's not possible. It's not right. This is just crazy. I have to get out of here.

I reach for the door handle again. He glances up & pulls me back to him. "Hayden, you cannot run from this. No matter how much you want to. It won't go away. I have tried. I knew that it wasn't right to love you because you were Darin's girl & you always would be. We were just friends. It's all we ever would be, but I still had hope."

"And the other day when... When you kissed me it didn't help. It just made it stronger. You nearly broke my heart when you broke away from it. You didn't want me. It hurt. It hurt so bad Hayden because I was so sure that you felt something, anything for me. I guess I was wrong." He says & hangs his head.

How the hell did I not notice it?! I should've been more aware of everything. Why does this always happen to me?

I sigh.

I just have to break this apart. I have to hurt him more so he doesn't have anymore hope. He can't know that there is anything close to hope. It isn't right. Oh god I can't do this.