The rantings of a lovesick teen

jock guys dating shy boys is cute

The title is something my bestie said during lunch. I was gushing about my crush and you know how besties are. She started fangirling and telling me to ask him out and stuff. So yeah I was all like heck naw girl. Cus I've got some confidence but not that much. Anyway we decided he's obviously gay. I mean lowkey gay. Just kinda good at hiding it. I mean not like so far in the closet he's in narnia but like standing in the doorway. But like he's such a jock nobody notices.

He kept looking at me like all day. Not all  day just at lunch and during afternoon classes. So like when we were in line to get lunch. We were kinda towards the end of the line so we were near the tables and he just had to sit at the one literally right next to us. And so me being me kept looking at him but he has this superhuman ability to catch me staring at him. Literally everytime I look at him he catches me. He obviously heard me talking and saw me blushing. My bestie said I was only blushing a little so he probably didn't notice. I had second degree burns on my face a few years ago so it kinda always looks like I'm blushing a bit. He kept laughing and I don't know if it was because of me being an idiot or because his friends were saying stuff. It was probably his friends.

We don't have fifth period together because he didn't take art for some reason but I love art so I'm fine not seeing him. We do have sixth period together. I mean we did. I'm switching classes to today was my last day in that class but oh my god. He was in the table in front of me but he kept looking at me. And no I don't mean quick glances because I'm being loud. I mean full on looking straight at me smiling taking an extra five seconds to look away staring at me. I was talking to my friend so I was laughing and smiling. We were both switching classes so it's not like I had to help her with anything. But I swear to the lord he just kept looking at me. As if he was making sure I was still there. It was so cute. 

That brings me to seventh period. He didn't really get the chance to look at me during class but he did before class. I mean like when we were grabbing our stuff and stuff. You know that brief moment you have in between classes. Well our 7th was in the elementary instead of the junior high so when me and my friend were walking over there he was a little ways behind us and we went around to the front while he went through the back so we got to the classroom at about the same time. The classroom is right next to the old lunchroom that we don't use anymore so if you go to the front you have to walk through it so we were walking through at the same time he was entering and he totally checked me out. It's lame I know but like I was wearing these faded light blue jeans and this black shirt that I kept from when before I transitioned (yes I'm trans get over it) so it's a girls shirt and you know how those are. They're kinda tight but just like hugs your curves tight. Anyway I looked hella cute and I walked in and he was checking me out I looked at him and he looked away then when I was putting my stuff down he almost ran into me and yeah that was fun.  

P.S I didn't have any hair gel in my hair so it was floofy and kept falling in my face and I looked really fricken good if you ask me. (Or ask my bestie cus she agrees. I'm adorable.)