The Rosenbergs // Tillow

3.

"Want us to come with?" Xander asked gently. He rubbed Dawn's arm. She shook her head no and hopped out of the car.

The freshly fallen leaves crunched under her sneakers as she made her way through the gravestones. Twigs and overgrown grass brushed against her ankles and a gust of wind blew through her hair. Somehow it always seemed like autumn in the vicinity of this cemetery. It was an unusual, timeless space. Dawn reached the two headstones she was there for and sat down in front of them.

"Hi, Mum. Hi, Buffy," she said, her voice cracked. "So it's been a while since I visited, I'm sorry. Things have been the same, mostly. Not a whole lot has changed but Xander, Anya and the twins are moving in with us now. Well, they will get their own place at some point, but until then they'll stay with us. I'm really happy about it. I always miss them so much, which is why I enjoy summer more than any other time of year.

"And mum? I think I want to start calling Willow and Tara mama and mum. That's what Ember calls them except she says mummy for Tara. But I- I don't want to hurt you. You'll always be my mum but I just have two more mums now. Please don't think I'm forgetting you. I miss you every single day." Her voice wobbled.

"Now that Xander, Anya and their boys are moving to Idaho with us, I'm not sure when we'll be back in the area. I don't know when I'll see you guys again." She broke into sobs and lay down on the slice of  grass that separated the graves of her two loved ones. She cried and cried until Xander finally came and carried her back to the car. She didn't resist this action, she allowed him to remove her from the presence of her mom and sister. It was too painful for her to stay here for very long. It made her miss the feeling of them cuddled up on either side of her on the couch on Christmas Eve every year as they watched movies and it made her miss when she and Buffy fought; when they played; when they just existed in the same space. She didn't want to ponder on these things for long periods of time because once she started it was hard to stop.

She waved goodbye to them, as their road trip home began, which felt a little foolish to be waving at an empty graveyard. Dawn rested her head against the window and cried herself to sleep.

***

"Anya called," Willow told Tara. She stood in the doorway to the downstairs office where Tara was seated at the computer. It was shortly after 8pm and the kids were all tucked in bed for the night. Tara spun herself around in the office chair. "They'll be home by midday tomorrow. She said Dawnie hasn't stopped crying since visiting the cemetery. Poor thing, I just wanna hug her already."

"Oh god, I hope she's okay." Tara sighed. She stood up and hugged Willow. Then the two walked over to the kitchen for their before-bed-tea. "Hopefully she cheers up not long after getting back here." A little voice spoke up behind them.

"Dawn is sad?"

The two women turned around and saw little Ezra in the dim light. He was at the bottom of staircase with the saddest frown plastered on his face. Tara held her arms out for him and he obligingly walked into them. She lifted him up and sat him on the creamy, white kitchen counter.

"She just misses her sister Buffy and her mum," she told him.

"I thought you is her mummies?" he questioned, clearly confused.

"We are now. But she had another mummy who carried Dawn in her tummy and looked after her when she was little. But she got sick and passed away, so her big sister Buffy looked after her. When Buffy got hurt and passed away, then we became Dawn's mummies. But her other mum is still her mum."

The little boy's eyes were wide with interest as his brain absorbed all of this new information like a sponge in water.

"You are nice, good mummies, like my mummy!" he told them proudly.