Jinx

Chapter 3

~Jinx~
I expect someone else, I always expect someone else, but he comes again, with another tray in his hands. Only this time instead of that disgusting mashed potatoes, there's a slab of meat and some potato chips, at least that's what I think they're called. He walks slowly, cautiously, as though I were a bomb. Maybe I am. He sits down on the end of my cot and slowly hands me the tray.
I don't waste any time; I grab the meat and start tearing into it, not caring if he sees. Maybe I want him to see. Maybe I want him to know that I'm dangerous. Maybe I don't want to hurt his beautifully sculpted face. He's staring. But not how you would expect. If I knew any better, I'd almost say it was concern fighting for dominance on his otherwise passive face, but I don't, so I won't.
After I finish, I look up at him. He looks me in the eyes, something no one does, and smiles. Even more rare is that dang smile. It held so many emotions, that of which I've never been privy to until now. For the first time in so long, I can see clearly, I can think my own thoughts without wanting to kill myself. He gives me a once over, and frowns when his eyes make their rounds back up to my own.
"Hey, buddy, when was the last time you were clean...?"
He says it slowly, and I catch the emotion hidden underneath. Since I'm clear of mind, I simply shrug and self consciously wrap my arms around myself.
"Alright," he sighs, standing up. "I have to go home now, but I'll give you a bath tomorrow, okay?" I nod, almost vigorously. I haven't bathed since I got here, and I have no idea how long ago that was.
He smiles that one heartwarming smile again and picks up the tray. He turns to leave, and I see that he keep the smile In place as he walks toward the door. If he kept the smile even after his back was to me, does that mean it was genuine? I sigh as he opens the door, a lot more cautious than yesterday. There's no wonder why, after my little freak out. Before he's all the way out the door, he looks back at me, his deep, chocolate eyes shining with an emotion i'm unfamiliar with, and then turns and leaves, his dark hair shifting and moving like feathers in the breeze caused by his movement.
I don't know what I thought, that he was only helping me because it was his job, or some other excuse, but I started to like him. I started to like his light skin, dark chestnut hair, and even his deep, chocolatey eyes that seemed to hold the answers to all my problems. I started to like him, and it scared the hell out of me. When  I'm with him, I can think clearly. Since he started caring for me, I've been in my right of mind; I haven't bitten, scratched, or hurt myself in any way. I've finally found myself.

~Jamie~

    He's changed. Not a lot, but enough to notice. Since I've become his caretaker, he's gone from the suicidal maniac that everyone treats him as, to this sweet little boy who just wants a little attention. He's different, and it makes all the difference. I sigh and brush a few strands of my relentlessly annoying hair off my forehead as I pull my car into the staff parking lot at the asylum where I work. I had graduated college a couple years ago and finally got a job I like. And the weird thing is, I don't even know why I like it, perhaps the fact that i'm actually helping people and not freeloading off of my parents.
    I lock my car and head inside, through the locked metal doors and scanners. This place was really high tech for what it was. It was kind of sad, actually, seeing all these people locked away in cells. Especially Jinx. The guy just wants attention, and they've locked him away in a padded cell. I sigh as I walk into the South Wing.
I near his cell, a walmart bag on my arm with some homemade scrambled eggs and bacon inside. I've come to bring him breakfast, just as I have for the past week and a half. He hasn't acted up since I started feeding him something other than that potato crap they give these people, and it's no wonder. That stuff is disgusting. I unlock the many bars and locks on the door, and it swings open with the loud screech of metal scraping on tile. I turn and close the door behind me, the locks on the outside immediately falling back into place. When I turn back around, he's sitting on his cot, looking at me with the cutest expression of hope on his face, my heart just melts....wait...no it doesn't. I don't like him that way. I'm NOT gay. I'm not. I shake my head to clear the unwanted thoughts and walk towards him.
He looks up as I near him and his eyes, once dull and absent of any feeling but pain, light up with such hope and....admiration? I smile and sit down beside him, pulling the tupperware out of the bag, along with a plastic spoon, and hand it to him. He takes them, almost greedily, and digs in. I chuckle to myself and pull out my own food, a tupperware of salad; I'm not that big on meaty things; and a fork. As I start eating, I happen to glance up, and catch him staring blankly at my fork. He had finished his meal and was now...waiting? For me to finish, I suppose. Or maybe to forget about the fork. I sigh and finish up my salad, and then put the fork inside the tub, sealing it in, before I put it back in the bag.
I  grab his dishes and put them in the bag as well. As soon as the weapon was out of sight, he shook his head very slightly, as if trying to clear it of the desire to hurt himself, and then looks up at me with that same hopeful gaze. I meet his gaze with a soft one of my own, and stand up, offering a hand out to help him up.
He frowns, confused, staring at my hand with fear. I wince at what he must think I'm doing, and smile what I hope is a reassuring smile.
"I'm going to give you a bath, Buddy."
His eyes widen slightly, whether in fear or happiness I'm not sure, but he stands up, putting his cold, calloused hand in mine. As I head toward the door, I unconsciously let my mind wander to the feel of his hand in mine, and wonder of the possibilities. I shake my head, dismissing such selfish thoughts, and unlock the door, only opening it enough so we can both squeeze through, so it doesn't scream too much when I close it. I smile comfortingly at him and he tries to mirror my smile with one of his own, only succeeding to make him cuter. Wait, what? No, not cute. No. I take a deep breath and continue down the hallway, proceeding to the washroom. I lead him inside and start the water in the tub, keeping my finger under the faucet to make sure it didn't get too hot. I turn to see him looking at me, seeming to not know what to do. I sigh and rub the back of my neck, feeling my face heat up.
"Uh, you have to undress....I'll turn around..." and so I did. I waited until the rustle of clothing in skin stopped, then let out the breath I had been holding in.
"You can get in the tub..." A few moments after, I hear the sound of water moving around and turn to see him lowering himself into the water. I catch sight of the bruises and scars along his back and arms and wince, averting my gaze once more until he's all the way in. When I stop hearing noises, I look up and he's skimming his hand lightly over the surface of the water, in awe. I smile a fake smile and walk towards him, grabbing the shampoo on my way over.
He looks up, a genuine smile on his face as he watches the water drip from his fingers. This time, my smile is real as well. I sit down on my knees in front of the tub, as though he were my son and I his mother. I grab a washcloth and reach toward him; he cringes away from my hand, and there's no wonder why. I smile and make sure he can see my hand and what I'm trying to do, and at his nod, I reach forward and run the cloth lightly down his back, so he can get a feel for it. A trail of goosebumps follow the path of my hand, but he doesn't cringe away again. Im fact, he melts a little, which melts me as well.
After a while of scrubbing, He let me wash his hair, which was so dirty it was clumping, and could stand on its own. After I washed all the dirt out, I used conditioner as an excuse to keep running my fingers through his now silky hair. He didn't seem to mind, in fact, he seemed to like it. All too soon, I was done washing him, and it was time to get him back to his room.
I brought him his clothes, that of which had been washed while I was bathing him, and turned around so he could change back into them. Afterwards, I helped him dry his hair. I couldn't help myself, I used towel drying his hair as another excuse to touch his soft, mahogany hair. He didn't seem to mind that either.  Once it was thoroughly dry and as fluffy as a kitten's fur, I walked him back down the hallways toward his room.
Halfway there, I hear his stomach complain of abuse, and I smile, taking a left turn into a brighter lit hallway, towards the cafeteria. As we step over the threshold and into the large crowded space, I smile and nod him over to a chair, where he sits down with such happiness and wonder in his eyes; I feel my heart clench painfully and the sight of him. Unwilling to leave him all alone, I turn and hurry toward the counter.
Getting a little of everything, I carry the tray back to him, only to see him being manhandled by six or seven guards. I drop the tray as I'm grabbed from behind as well, looking up just in time to see one of them taser him. I watch it in slow motion as he goes down, only about halfway, until they grab this arms and manhandle him in the opposite direction of myself.
Nevermind the fact that I'm struggling against my fellow workers so that I can go after him, once he disappears from sight, they let me go, and I yank myself away from both of them, straightening my uniform and glaring at each of them. They must have had orders to make sure I didn't try to go after him, because they lingered. I sigh and brush my sweat-slicked hair off my forehead and head towards the lobby. They won't follow me there. As I'm about to head towards his cell. I overhear two of the nurses talking.
"...Yeah, and after what he did, there's no wonder why they're moving him."
"Well, I mean, look at how unstable he is, he could've killed any one of us!"
"Yeah. they're right to put him away. He's a monster."
"Definitely, and this monster is finally going to be put away for good."
"Just like he deserves." She giggles and leans in close to the other girl. "Speaking of getting what he deserves, what happened with Josh last night..." Their voices fade as they walk away, and I scowl. I've always hated gossipers, and even worse now that they're about him. I look down at my watch and sigh. I only have a few minutes left on my shift. I really wanted to go to Jinx, but what use would I be to him if I got fired?
I sigh again, and gather up my things. I have no choice but to leave. I glance up into the few windows of the South Wing, hoping to catch a glance of him, before I remember that he will probably be restrained in his cell. I sigh one final time and pull out of the darkening lot and towards home with a heavy heart.