Everyday Life of a Pervert Sofa

Sopa-Mission Two

Day two: 6/11/69

Mission Two: Don't Irk Isu

Progress: 1/1 successes

When Sopa Divano opened his eyes, Isu was in his face glaring at him. Sopa didn't even bother to acknowledge Isu, knowing that any form of recognition would make the chair start rambling and lecturing. However, this had the opposite effect. Isu became angry and glared even more intensely at Sopa.

"Don't just ignore me! When someone is looking at you, you acknowledge his or her presence! You don't just ignore him or her!" Isu said angrily. Sopa rolled his eyes. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Ventilador giggling and giving him a blades-up. Sopa wiggled his arms, trying to do a similar gesture back. Isu didn't understand what Sopa was trying to do, but he wasn't approving.

"Yamete, Sopa!" Isu said. Sopa made a gesture that was roughly equivalent to the sticking out of a tongue in humans.

"I'm sorry for existing," Sopa said sarcastically. Isu glared at Sopa.

"Don't give me that attitude, young man! I am your elder and superior! I will not tolerate such an attitude!!" Isu said. Sopa did another gesture, this one equivalent to what the humans call a "facepalm."

"Don't act like that, Sopa! It's almost as if you're surprised that Isu is like this! Don't be a fool! You'll get used to him eventually. It took us all a while to learn to tolerate him," Mesa chimed in.

"HEY!" Isu exclaimed.

"Ahh, I remember the good old days before Isu came along, when I could make my dirty jokes in peace. Heck, I didn't even have to make innuendos! I could be as blunt as I wanted and no one would stop me! But then he came along and ruined it all," Ventilador whined nostalgically. Mesa let out a sigh of annoyance.

"Yeah, but it got old after a while," he said. Though Sopa enjoyed hearing the others ridiculing Isu because Isu was very annoying, Sopa was not a complete jerk and felt kind of bad, as the others were sort of bullying Isu. As much as Sopa disliked Isu and his nagging, he could not help but feel bad about the others bullying him. But he didn't want Isu to know that he cared slightly for him.

"M-Mesa!" Sopa whispered.

"Yes, chico?"

"S-s-stop bullying him! Even if I don't mind since he's annoying, I feel b-b-bad about you guys talking as if his presence is unwanted and a bad thing! I mean, I wouldn't mind if he wasn't here, but he is, so...d-don't be mean to him!" Sopa stuttered every time he had to express kindness towards Isu, as he would have rather not. But he still managed to get the message across.

"Alright, guys. That's enough teasing Isu. Everyone here is valued equally. Ventilador, don't complain about him being unwanted when I had peace and quiet until you came along. Changes will happen, and we'll have to learn to adapt and deal with them. Sure, it's different than I'd prefer, but I'd rather have this than have you guys leave and things go back to how they were," Mesa said.

"That-that....THAT WAS SO INSPIRING AND BEAUTIFUL! I'M GLAD YOU DON'T HATE ME! AND I'LL TRY MY BEST TO NOT HATE YOU GUYS AS MUCH! MESA, ARIGATOU! YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME TO BECOME A BETTER CHAIR!" Isu exclaimed. Everyone was taken aback, especially Sopa. This was the first time he'd seen Isu express something other than annoyance. Everything was pretty neat. Until Ventilador came along and ruined it.

"Haha! So Isu can be nice!" Ventilador said.

"YOU PESKY APPLIANCE! WHY ARE APPLIANCES SO IMMATURE AND RUDE?! YOU ARE HEREBY BANNED FROM SPEAKING!"

Progress: 1/2 successes; he may have calmed down, but in the end, Isu is still angry!

TO THINK THAT THE MOST INSPIRING THING ID EVER WRITE WOULD BE IN A JOKE BOOK ABOUT SENTIENT FURNITURE