Doldrum: A Mournful Ravage Of Memories

D O L D R U M 1

Rielle

"Estrielle Ivanna!" I sighed as my father's ballistic voice wreathe the wide receiving area of our mansion. Here we go again. Papagalitan na naman niya ako because I ditched the dinner date they set with their business partner's son.

"I already told you na ayaw kong ireto niyo ko kung kani-kanino!" I shouted. I know it's rude but ugh, nakakapagod na ang paulit-ulit na pagtanggi ko.

He massaged his temples in aggro. Poor father, he got a hardheaded daughter na ayaw makiayon sa plano niyang makipag-isa sa malakig kompanya.

"It's for your own sake, Estrielle! Everything we do is for you!" He said in a loud deep voice. I gritted my teeth. Bakit ba lagi na lang ako? Parang ako lang ang nag-iisang anak!

"How about Kuya Kan?! Bakit lagi na lang ako?!" I whimpered like a brat. They are really biased! Their attention is always on me and I hate it.

"That jerk got himself married to a scarlet woman! He's a shame to our family! He doesn't deserve our wealth!" My father's eyes was full of disappointment and sadness. I felt pity for him. Kahit lagi kaming 'di magkasundo, I know he just wants the best for us. The divulgence of my brother being married with a prostitute appalled me. I bit my lip and think about our situation. I think I should also understand my father. At his age, he only wants to see us succeed before he close his eyes permanently.

I sighed. "F-Fine. I won't ditch the date again and I'll try to convince myself na magpakasal sa kung sinong gusto niyong ipakasal sa akin", I surrendered. His face softened and unbelievingly look at me. He smiled and walked towards me. "Thank you, daughter", he said and hugged me. I smiled. Kahit ngayon lang, isasakripisyo ko ang sarili ko para sa ikasasaya ng daddy ko.

...

"Ang hirap naman ng sitwasyon mong 'yan, Rielle", komento ni Jeian sa naikwento kong pagtatalo namin ni dad last night, syempre excluded na dun ang ginawa ni Kuya. I bowed my head and focused on the way we are walking.

"I don't know, Jeian. Magdamag ko tong pinag-isipan kagabi. Bahala na kung anong mangyayari", I said and tightened the wrap of my arms around the books I am carrying.

She blocked my way and stood in front of me. "Yan ka na naman sa mga 'bahala na' mo", she uttered and rolled her eyes. I fixed my specs. Yeah. I am not given with tough sharp eyes at bata pa lang ay malabo na talaga ang mata ko.

"Eh ano pa bang magagawa ko? I can't take back my words. Ayoko siyang ma-disappoint", sabi ko at naglakad sa kung saan hindi siya nakaharang. I heard her sigh at sumabay sa paglalakad ko.

"Sige na nga. Susuportahan na lang kita sa kung anong plano mo sa buhay. Saka isa pa, for sure gwapo at hot ang mapapangasawa mo. Si Tita Vielle pa ba? For sure, hindi siya papayag na isang pangit at patpating lalaki lang ang mapangasawa ng kanyang nag-iisang anak na babae", she said and burst out a chuckle. I glared at her and frowned. "Wag mo ngang ma-mention-mention ang on and off mother kong yun!" I blabbered. Ever since Kuya and I were children, lagi na lang wala si Mommy sa bahay. Kung uuwi man siya, lagi siyang may kasamang lalaki. Based kasi sa mga narinig kong kwento ng mga aunts and uncles namin, arranged marriage lang daw ang nangyari kina Mom at Dad. Ang masaklap pa ay si Dad lang ang nagmahal sa kanilang dalawa. Si Mom, she never loved dad. Sa bawat araw na lumipas, she keep on reminding dad na she doesn't love him. That's the reason kung bakit hindi ako malapit kay mom. She's so vexatious and cruel. She's a control freak. Palibhasa mahal siya ni dad, nagagawa niyang control-in ang nahuli at sa ganung paraan ay namamanipulate na rin niya ang buhay namin. Kaya tama ang sinabi ni Jeian. Kilala ko si mom at hindi siya papayag na malahian kami ng di namin kabilang. I am not being pompous. I just know the exact words to describe her. On the other hand, napapangiwi na ako sa maaaring maging reaksyon ni Mom sa pagpapakasal ni Kuya sa isang urr- prostitute.