Are We Mad? (Professor R.J.Lupin)

Chapter 5: heartbreaks and revelations

Photo taken on my travels through Portugal

Ella couldn't sleep, the memories from her past still tormented her to this day, she had taken a nap that afternoon and had the same dream by the water and her mum torturing her. Remus still popped into her mind she looked forward to her extra lessons with him on a Monday evening, not only because of her feeling towards the young teacher but because the genuinely enjoy his company too, he was funny and intelligent and they truly always found something interesting to talk about.

Ella found herself wandering down to the black lake again. There was always something about the water that calmed her, the sound of the water, the smell of the grass and the cool breeze just made her worries melt away.

"What are you doing here Ella!" Tom shouted.

"Nothing, why are you here?"

Tom looked down as if he was scanning his brain for the correct answer.

"Nothing..." He said, Tom had never been good at lying and Ella knew this.

Ella rather amused countered back "bullshit" and laughed "come on Tom why are you here?"

Tom continued to search his Brain for the right answer to this question but before he could someone called his name.

"Shit" Tom mumbled under his breath.

"Sorry I was late" a rather tall Slytherin girl said, who Ella knew to be Cathy form the Slytherin quidditch team (from what I'm aware they weren't actually any Females on the Slytherin team at this point so Cathy is completely made up)

"What's she doing here Tom?" Cathy spat, it all became clear to Ella then, Tom was meeting up with Cathy and what they'd get up to Ella didn't even want to think about. Tom face gave it all away, he looked almost ashamed.

"I was just leaving" Ella mumbled, she knew that she had no interest in Tom that way but still tears pricked her eyelids and threatened to fall. She couldn't explain the feeling in the pit of her stomach but whatever it was it made her feel uncomfortable and physically sick.

She ran towards the castle not stopping until she got to the safety of the common room. She sat in her favourite chair and slid down the back of it, her tears falling was no longer a threat, they raced down her porcelain cheeks and down her neck making it feel cold and sticky. She had always told herself that she didn't like Tom in that way but that night her true feelings showed themselves, she didn't like Tom but then why was she so upset that he was seeing some other girl. Nothing quite made sense.

Ella's eyes began to grow tired; she had calmed down a tremendous amount and began to feel embarrassed. Ella had always prized herself in coming across as a strong person, no one ever saw the sadness kept in the locked cage of her heart. She felt as if she had made a fool of herself for showing emotions.

Her weekend was boring she had skipped her trip the Hogsmeade not really wanting to leave the castle. She chose to read her favourite muggle fairy-tale "beauty and the beast". She tried to make her way through the next week as though nothing was wrong, she seemed to fool everyone except Remus.

It was Monday evening and Ella made her way to her Defence against the dark arts classroom. Remus knew something was off about the young girl. Her whole attitude had changed, she was no longer the bubbly girl that he knew her to be and her eyes no longer shone like a thousand stars. He intended to confront her about it but thought she would find it too strange.

Although Ella wasn't feeling her best she tried to act as interested and enthusiastic as humanly possible thinking she could fool Remus. His all-knowing eyes stared into hers she knew she wasn't fooling him.