Are We Mad? (Professor R.J.Lupin)

Chapter 7: Silly little school girl

Can't actually remember where this picture was taken but I'm so proud 💜

Remus and Ella saw each other very little in November and December only on a Monday evening for extra classes where they'd end up talking about their lives until the last day of term and everyone was excited for the holidays. Their "relationship" hadn't really progressed and they both agreed that it wasn't an appropriate time to begin an actual relationship in school.

"just you wait until I leave Remus" Ella exclaimed excitedly "when I'm done here, I can do anything I want!" She carried on sat next to Remus on a sofa chair in his room with her head on his lap. He grinned at her, he loved the twinkle in her eyes when she was excited about something, their conversations never ran dry. " it's not sunk in yet than I can actually do anything!" She carried on getting louder. Remus put a loving hand on her forehead playing with her hair as he did so.

"So, what do you actually want to do then?" He asked smirking.

"Well it's more of a question of who" she countered back smirking, both laughing at the playful remarks both of them have made many times before.

"I'm being serious we've never properly talked about it, if I'm there or not it's still important to know" he asked lovingly. He was very aware that this could only be for now and he most definitely wasn't convinced he was in her future and to be honest he was fine with that; this just made their moments together now more special.

"I haven't really thought about it" Ella replied seriously. " I've been so focused on the fact I can do anything and not thought about what" she giggled. Remus rolled his eyes playfully.

"Well you've got plenty of time to think about it Ella. I just want you to do well." He said and Ella nodded "I mean not that you won't do well because you're an extremely smart girl" he said worried he'd hurt her feelings. Ella laughed quietly.

"That's funny" she said

"Why"

"Because I'm really not that smart" she said still giggling.

"Oh stop! The fact that you don't think of yourself as smart is in fact not smart because it's obvious how intelligent you are, I see you're work if you've forgotten" he replied playfully. Ella rolled her head to the side Into Remus' stomach making him groan.

Ella immediately shot up apologising profoundly to him.

"I'm so sorry Remus sorry! I'm so sorry" she trailed off genuinely feeling beyond guilty, it was the day before Remus would transform so he was feeling a bit tender.

"It's fine look at me I'm fine!" He said kindly

"No, it's not I've hurt you" she carried on. Remus grasped each side of her face gently and pushed her hair back, he laid a gentle kiss on her forehead and looked deep into her eyes.

"Listen I'm fine don't worry about me" He said and pulled her close into his chest laughing softly. She was such a caring person he thought, and it made him grin.

"Is it tomorrow" she asked after a few moments of bliss. Both of them knew what she was asking. He pulled away and looked down at her nodding.

"Can I Come?" She asked not daring to look at him knowing his feelings on the matter. In his eyes it was too dangerous, what if something went wrong but Ella just couldn't help but ask. After he told her everything about how his transformations happen and how they felt she learned that Remus would sugar coat things for her. She knew exactly what would happen and although he tried to hide his pain, Ella could see right through him. She really hated him having to go through this alone, the thought of him alone in the shrieking shack hurt her heart.

Remus sighed heavily "Ella...". He gave Ella a stern look. "Yeah I know I know but why not really? All I've heard is what you think might happen and I mean if you've taken the potion then you'll be fine, I'll be fine, we'll both be fine" Ella said trying her best to convince him. Remus' facial expression didn't change. "Ella do you not listen to me when I tell you" he said standing up sighing again.

Ella looked down "Remus why are you pushing me out I want to help you. It hurts me to see you go through this on your own!" She said raising her voice slightly in exasperation.

"You wouldn't understand Ella" he said as a matter of fact.

"Then help me to!" She exclaimed getting louder. Remus said nothing he just looked at the wall silently getting more upset by the second. "She doesn't understand I'm doing this to protect her from me she'll run for the hills when she sees the monster I am" he thought getting more emotional. Ella walked slowly behind him and touched his hand softly to comfort him.

"Please" was all she said softly. Remus swiftly moved his hand away from her crossing his arms.

"You don't understand Ella, it's times like this that remind me that you are just a silly little schoolgirl" Remus said, not raising his voice but with and angry, cutting tone. He bit his lip as soon as he said those last words regretting it instantly, not daring to look at her as she stood behind him in shocked silence.

She laughed sarcastically "and it's times like this that remind me you're a stubborn, dick head, washed up old Professor" she replied trying to hurt him as much as he did her. All Remus heard was her swift exit with a loud slam of his door as the brunette ran out of his room, tears pricking at her eyelids. He didn't move for a good 10 minutes still staring at the wall trying to keep himself together. "What have I done" he thought.

The next day Remus awoke, the feeling of regret hitting him like a ton of bricks. "I need to apologise before she leaves for Christmas" was his immediate thought and ran for the door still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. He tore out of his room and down the corridor like a mad man but that's exactly what he was, mad but madly in love with this girl he'd only met 6 months before. He was aware of how stupid it seemed, but he didn't care.

He arrived in the main hall to only find a handful of students there, looking at his watch he knew the Train had left 10 minutes ago. He'd missed her. She's gone. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck" he thought to himself as he trailed back up to his room.

He sat as his desk, slouching back in his chair as tears began to fill his eyes. Looking over towards his bed he noticed something bright and pink, it was Ella's pink cardigan. Remus picked it up and sat on his bed holding it, fiddling with the gold buttons on it, it still smelled like her. The smell lingering in his nostrils. He sighed heavily, looking at the buttons and noticed they all had her initials engraved on the gold buttons. "I really fucked this up" he thought "this beautiful, funny, charming girl had entered my life and I managed to fuck it up. She's the complete opposite of me, attractive, wealthy and young, everything I'm not, and I managed to let her go" he hung the cardigan on the back of his door planning on what he would say when he gave it her back sure it was 2 weeks away but it had to be perfect.

Authors notes
Yea kinda sad ending I know but I'm in a sad mood okay.

I want to apologise for how long this took. College has really been taking it out of me and I know it's been 2 months since I last posted so sorry guys. Also I missed 600 reads so thank you so much and Thank you for reading as always 💜💜