The Past is Always There

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Awareness came slowly, hesitantly, fading in and out for long moments. There was light, sound, all of it blurred to my senses as I kept waking and then sliding back into unconsciousness. Thrice I was aware I was reaching out. Once to grab onto Tony, to pull him back and away from something horrible, something I didn't want him to see, something I couldn't let him see. The second time I reached for Prudence, who was standing just beyond my reach, surrounded by an aura of light. Lastly, it was to take Aine's hand so she could pull me from beneath still cold water and into blinding light and warm air that I inhaled with a deep whooping gasping breath.

My eyelids fluttered and I groaned, sharp and dull pain filling the right side of my chest. I could feel the O2 flowing from the tube under my nose into both nostrils, feel the burn from having a catheter inserted, and my throat was raw from the breathing tubes they'd used.

Surgery. I've had surgery, I thought.

I managed to get my eyes open, staring at the lights on the ceiling.

"Is he awake?" A woman's voice asked quietly.

"Not yet. He's only been out of surgery for a half hour. He's a fighter though, woke up twice on the table, fighting us," another woman said.

"I'm awake," I groaned, trying to lift my arms up.

I was strapped down.

"Mister English, we had to strap you down. You became agitated during surgery and we didn't want you to hurt yourself," A woman said. I looked over at her, seeing a short matronly looking woman with dishwater blonde hair and clear pale blue eyes. Past her was another woman. Short, chubby, very pretty, wearing a dress and watching carefully with her lip held between her teeth.

Miss Lily-Rylee.

I nodded slowly. "I was having nightmares," I told her.

"I'm going to ask you some questions," She told me. I just nodded, and she started. Questions to check my mental acuity, make sure I wasn't lost in the past or in a delusion, and to make sure I knew when and where I was.

"The doctor will be in in a few minutes to talk to you about your surgery and recovery," She smiled as she undid the restraints. "You shouldn't be awake, so if you get sleepy, you need your rest."

"I'm all right," I told her. I sighed with pleasure as she held up a brown pitcher with a straw. I sucked at it greedily, the taste of lime Kool-Aid cutting through the sticky dry mouth. "That's enough," She said, pulling it back. "Don't want you getting sick."

"I understand," I told her.

"Good. It's nice to have someone who doesn't fight me about it," She said. "I'll go let the doctor know you're awake."

She moved away and I looked at Miss Lily-Rylee.

"Hey, Blacksox," I said, smiling.

"They said you'd sleep for longer," She said softly, standing up and walking toward me. Her shoes squeaked on the tile. "They said there was some complications with your surgery."

I swallowed down the urge to cough, nodding. "Not surprised."

"Uncle Pete gave me time off, told me to take care of you," She said, reaching down and grabbing my hand. "Said you wouldn't know how to take care of yourself now."

Because she left me alone in a world I don't understand any more

"I'm a big boy," I smiled at her.

The door opened, interrupting us, and a doctor who's facial features showed South Korean and heritage came in, reading a chart. He glanced at me, then walked to the other side of the bed, examining the instruments for a long moment.

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