A Part of Me (Boyf Riends AU)

Chapter 3

TW: Panic attack

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Jeremy's POV

Fine, Jerry said, Brace yourself Jeremy.

Wha-

Memories suddenly started pouring through me. I don't know how to describe it. You know those movies where people have the power to touch you and can look through your memories? Well, its kinda like that.
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Three years ago.

Michael and I were thirteen years old playing Mario Kart in my basement. We were fighting for first place on Rainbow Road. He was ahead, but I got a red shell and hit him at the last second, taking first place. Michael threw his controller down.

"Aw, come on! I was so close!"

"Remember the bet. You owe me a slushie," I said, grinning.

Michael made an overdramatic pouty face, which was pretty cute. "Nuuuuu," he whined. Michael threw himself on top of me and we both fell to the ground. We rolled over and he ended up on top of me. He laughed, and I looked away to hide my face, which was bright red.

"Get off of me!" I yelled.

"No," he said. We both smiled at each other. After a while Michael finally gave in and got up to sat back down on the beanbags. I sat down next to him and he leaned his head on my shoulder.

"Fine, you don't have to pay," I said, almost a whisper. We went back to playing Mario Kart.
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Two and a half years ago.

In our eighth grade science class I got up to get the materials we needed for a lab we were doing. It was something about pH scales, so I needed to get the test tubes. I grabbed them from Mrs.Hamilton's desk and started walking back towards our table.

Maybe I wasn't the best choice for getting glass tubes. My hands were always shaking and I was prone to dropping things. I was almost to the table when I lost my grip on the stand and they all shattered on the floor.

I was frozen. I didn't know what to do. Mrs.Hamilton came over and told me to help clean it up, but I was panicking. How could I have done this? Am I always this much of a klutz? Is everyone staring?

Then I suddenly felt an arm go around my shoulders. I looked besides me to see Michael. He asked Mrs.Hamilton if he could take me to the bathroom to calm down. I guess she realized the situation I was in, because she said yes. He walked me to the bathroom and told me to sit on the counter. I did as he said and then he sat down next to me.

I was still breathing heavy. "Calm down, Jer," he said, "Its not that big of a deal. It's only glass." He drew circles on the small of my back. I had to admit, that helped a lot. In a few minutes my breathing was back to normal. I looked up and saw Michael smiling at me. He embraced me in a hug, while whispering "No homo," under his breath. I sunk into it, grateful to have a friend like Michael.
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Present

My eyes flew open and I was back in the basement. I felt a hand on my back. I looked over and saw Michael on the chair next to me. He was looking at me with a worry-filled expression.

He said something that was barely audible to me. I guess I was still coming out of dreamland. Then I regained my sense and realized what I had just seen.

All those feelings Jerry had hidden from me about Michael. I looked my best friend in the eye. I didn't understand. I can't be in love with him. I've always liked girls. I've always like Christine.... What is going on?

I couldn't be here. Not with Michael, not right now. I got up and half ran up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door shut behind me and sat down on the bed.

I heard footsteps from the other side of the door, stopping at the top of the stairs in front of my room. There was a knock on the door and I heard a voice say, "It's Michael, can I come in?"

I wanted to be alone. "No..." was all I managed to say.

"Are you ok? You weren't acting like your-"

"Just leave me alone Michael!" I yelled. I paused, realizing what I had just said. Before I could take it back, I heard Michael go back down the stairs, and then the slamming of the front door.

I sank down to the floor and hugged my knees, not knowing what to do. I felt hot tears streaming down my face. How could I like Michael? He was my best friend, and that's all I've ever thought of him. I had only liked girls before.

That's why I had to hide these memories from you, Jerry said, You couldn't understand these feelings towards him.

Well it's kinda a lot to take in, you know? He's been my best friend for so long, I said.

Then is it really that surprising? You two are practically joined at the hip.

Yeah I guess...

Just think about it. You don't need to make any commitments now.

Just one question, I said, Was it me in those memories or...?

That was you, he responded, All those feelings were yours.

Oh ok... sorry this is just a lot to process. Can I have a moment...?

Sure, he said. Everything suddenly got quiet. I heard no voices. For the moment I was alone in my head.

I can't be gay, right? I mean, I've had a massive crush on Christine for God knows how long. Though now that I'm thinking about it, Michael does look good. The way his dark chocolate colored hair can never stay down, no matter what you try to do to it. How adorable he always looks in his red hoodie. Ah, and his eyes...

No, I scolded myself. I tried to shake those thoughts away, but I just couldn't stop thinking of him. Sighing, I pushed myself up from off the ground and went to the bathroom. I splashed some water in my face, trying to make some of the redness go away. It helped a little. I walked back over to my room and went under the covers. I'll think about this more in the morning. For now I need to get some sleep. My alters for some reason tend to come out more when I'm tired.

I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. It wasn't too long before I faded into unconsciousness.