[COMPLETED]
❝Of all the races I've started, loving him is the one I never want to finish.❞
In this re-imagination of my most popular story, Arielle Hawthorne is an illegal street racer, just like Zayn Malik. Zayn's egotistical, flirty, and a major p...
"Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once." — Paul Coelho
A/N: hi guys! Bit of a shorter chapter but big stuff happens! 🌚 leave lots of comments if you'd like another update and I'll work really hard to finish it! 💕
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H A Y E S
I hate this.
I hate this so incredibly much.
Not being able to talk to or see Arielle anymore has broken my heart. It seemed so easy for her when I said I'd leave her alone. She didn't even fight for what we had.
She didn't budge an inch.
I know I have to move on. I know that I have to prove to her that I'm serious. If you love someone you have to set them free, right?
The worst part of all of this is the way I've behaved. She probably sees me as a total jerk now. The way I reacted to seeing the two of them all lovey dovey with one another at that nightclub wasn't right in any sense.
I didn't tell her why I've been a tad bit angrier than usual. How it's easier for me to lose my emotions, to get consumed with thoughts as a distraction from reality and I've noticed that. It hasn't flow past me, but I know that it's completely normal behaviour.
I'm sure if I told her that I recently lost my sister to cancer that she'd understand my behaviour, but I don't know, I don't want her to think I'm manipulating her into feeling things that she isn't naturally feeling. That's completely and utterly wrong to do.
Besides, I'm trying to deal with these feelings myself. She was my only sister and we were always close, so it's hitting me really hard, but I'm trying to throw myself into work as a way to deal with the grief.
I can't help but relate the grief to a type of cancer. It sits hidden in my thoughts like the disease sits hidden in tissue and bone until it makes its appearance known and it hits me like a brick.
I don't even want Arielle to see me like this. I want to get my shit together before I ever see her again. Maybe then, I could explain what happened and she'd at least forgive me—for both my behaviour and for keeping my job hidden from her.
Although, it's a bit hypocritical of her to automatically hate me for keeping a secret.
